on Foreplay by INTRANSIT
23 Dec 2002, 2:26 PM
typos, oh typos how I would love it if there were no typos.
on some deleted poem
28 Dec 2002, 12:39 AM
Your Portuguese is piss poor. Have you actually tried learning the language?
on The first gurl 2 eva hurt ma by Jazz_t
28 Dec 2002, 12:23 AM
These are the times when I wish Prince never existed.
on some deleted poem
27 Dec 2002, 10:08 PM
Damn. Just damn. I have decided that you and z should be lovers. Are you available? And when you inspire each other I shall come watch just for the sake of voyeurism. The East must be miserable this time of year, because you guys are kicking out the jams. Again, I will read later and think, think, think.
on Your sacrifice by Crakyamuni
27 Dec 2002, 10:42 PM
I watched my aunt's apartment complex burn to the ground at Christmastime when I was six. My step-grandfather knocked a candle into a trashcan in the bathroom. That is what started the whole shebang. Some say he did it on purpose. He was an outsider in the family. I think it went on behind backs for years. But he is dead now. I remember sitting on the swings at the little playground there watching the whirl of the fire truck lights and the flames wild twist and turns and families running all over the place and my family and my aunt all crying and hugging each other and praising the lord, which I thought was odd considering the situation, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Unlike this poem.
on some deleted poem
27 Dec 2002, 9:03 PM
Interesting but awkward grammar, but as hurus8 says: that does not really matter. And you dislike the academic side of things. But is is awkward and staggers the flow of things from the get go I guess you are in the erotic business now. The Secret Life of Catherine M.. The belly as a plain of wheat is just down right funny. Does that mean hairy. Then you switch context. From direct to third. Do you start to talk directly to the pecker? There are some nice lines here and the idea is sound, but some of the images border on comical. Bur your bud thinks it is the best poem you have ever written, so that is all that matters. If I was your writing teacher I would ask you if you think about your words. Really think about them? Is this supposed to be funny?
on some deleted poem
27 Dec 2002, 9:13 PM
Oh my god, there are two of them. This is much less comic and again has some nice lines. Unprententiously - wow I cannot say have ever read this in a poem. And I suppose there is a reason for that.
Creating a following of one - I like this. And the frist line. Good stuff.
Creating a following of one - I like this. And the frist line. Good stuff.
Put the Pete Singer down and step away from the poem. I feel like I am reading a generic mantra read before a march of protest to Ted Nugent's United Sportsmen of America Headquarters in Michigan during the opening days of hunting season. You know, there is good fiction out there on this movement. Read "My Year of Meats" by Ruth, shit I cannot find the book anywhere in all these piles. Fuck. Well anyway, look it up. It tackles the subject with a bit of originality, whereas this falls into sap.
on some deleted poem
23 Dec 2002, 8:54 PM
Wow, I am not involved in this. I am overjoyed. Yeah you fuckwits.
on some deleted poem
23 Dec 2002, 12:53 PM
I can think of no other thing to say of this except: delete at once. This is terrible.
on pee haiku by New Life Drug
19 Dec 2002, 9:03 PM
Utter stupidity. do you really think we give a shit about your urinary tract. Come on show some depth.
on DESERVING NOTHING MORE THAN LONLYNESS by LETO
19 Dec 2002, 9:06 PM
Have you ever considered learning to spell before subjecting us to this crap?
on The Lordy only knows why tornados have no nose by Bachus
19 Dec 2002, 3:37 PM
Wal*Mart.
March is Colorado's snowiest month. So it is good you took this to CT and made it your own rather than leave it out here in the BenRice haiku. It is a desert out here. We need more vocabulary for the many shades of brown. If it were not for the immense blue sky, white-capped mountains and non-native evergreen we would all perish and be blinded to whiteness out here. Very nice in your country.
on some deleted poem
19 Dec 2002, 11:03 AM
Was it your intention to go from singular to plural, because I find it a bit confusing to the poem?
Also, who are "we".
"Yes, we see know" is this a typo?
Also, who are "we".
"Yes, we see know" is this a typo?
on some deleted poem
27 Dec 2002, 9:15 PM
This is beyond bad. "gunna"? What the hell is "gunna"?
on some deleted poem
24 Dec 2002, 1:55 PM
One step forward, eight steps back. As pooh said, "think, think, think."