replying on A Portrait of Antonio Machado (Edit) by Sasha
11 May 2004, 5:09 PM
yes
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
11 May 2004, 4:03 PM
Her friend Sasha?
Just because I know her first name which is on her website...
Just because I know her first name which is on her website...
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
11 May 2004, 3:58 PM
So write about an experience, something, anything that's not about more teen heartbreak. You are different from every other teenager out there, ann. So write something that sets you apart from them. I've been to your website and the totality of your poems is the sort that (no offense) is not at all unique and could have been written by a teenager 20 years ago.
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
11 May 2004, 3:54 PM
Poetry is words, not thoughts. You can have the most moving, inspiring thought, idea, or emotion and still have it turn to verse as commonplace as the paper it's written on and as dispensable.
Whether poetry is good or not has absolutely nothing to do with whether it "somes from your soul" or not. It's good if the words are strung together in a way that is pleasing both aurally and cognatively.
True, good verse and feeling can coincide and they often do, but the fact is that they are independent of each other. If the Aeneid represents Virgil's emotions then he's the king of psychopaths.
If you had conquered the self-admitted problem of your "short attention span" and read through the poem of mine you viewed, which is a translation of Antonio Machado's Retrato, you would have seen that it was written in a very detatched, unemotional manner. The poem had nothing to do with the way machado was feeling.
Whether poetry is good or not has absolutely nothing to do with whether it "somes from your soul" or not. It's good if the words are strung together in a way that is pleasing both aurally and cognatively.
True, good verse and feeling can coincide and they often do, but the fact is that they are independent of each other. If the Aeneid represents Virgil's emotions then he's the king of psychopaths.
If you had conquered the self-admitted problem of your "short attention span" and read through the poem of mine you viewed, which is a translation of Antonio Machado's Retrato, you would have seen that it was written in a very detatched, unemotional manner. The poem had nothing to do with the way machado was feeling.
on After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac
10 May 2004, 5:19 PM
Very ephemeral, but still grounded in reality.
Good, especially with the natural rhymes
There's a palpable but faint feeling feeling here of Fitzgerald's:
"A book of verses underneath the bough
A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou
Beside me singing in the wilderness
And wilderness is paradise enow."
Good, especially with the natural rhymes
There's a palpable but faint feeling feeling here of Fitzgerald's:
"A book of verses underneath the bough
A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou
Beside me singing in the wilderness
And wilderness is paradise enow."
on Bodies Bore Like I Do Too by fevriere
10 May 2004, 4:11 PM
What?
Okay, after the 4th re-read I happened to get it.
Not bad
Okay, after the 4th re-read I happened to get it.
Not bad
on Its raining by caitydee
10 May 2004, 4:08 PM
A bit sappy but alright.
replying on A Portrait of Antonio Machado (Edit) by Sasha
10 May 2004, 1:11 PM
you might want to take a look at the short span of one subject that your own poetry embodies: Teen Heartbreak.
I think that sort of stuff might be more at home in the upcoming "Still More Chickensoup for the Teenage Soul XXVII"
I think that sort of stuff might be more at home in the upcoming "Still More Chickensoup for the Teenage Soul XXVII"
on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
10 May 2004, 1:07 PM
Ann, you might want to try writing poems on a subject other than lost love. Teen romance is overdone by so many and in such a mediocre manner that it has become an automatic cliché.
I'm giving you fair warning: Many other people on this site will be very impolite in telling you what they think of poems like this.
I'm giving you fair warning: Many other people on this site will be very impolite in telling you what they think of poems like this.
on A Word by cuddlytiger17
10 May 2004, 12:58 PM
I find this to be, through no fault of your own, entirely too much like entirely too many other poems on this subject to give it anything more than an 8
on Fighting before bed by zodiac
10 May 2004, 12:27 PM
A form all your own, elements of the interlocking Rubyat, the Terza Rima and so much else.
I have one solitary gripe: The penultimate line.
The rhyme (...and did forget...) seems forced here. "And forgot" seems more natural although I understand sacrificing sense to sound. An awkward construction with an auxillary verb instead of a smoothe preterite seems out of place here.
However that sole fault is not reason enough not to give you a -10-
I have one solitary gripe: The penultimate line.
The rhyme (...and did forget...) seems forced here. "And forgot" seems more natural although I understand sacrificing sense to sound. An awkward construction with an auxillary verb instead of a smoothe preterite seems out of place here.
However that sole fault is not reason enough not to give you a -10-
on Totally Hair by TanHand
9 May 2004, 8:55 PM
Rediculous and forced rhymes
on The Errant Knight by Thyme
9 May 2004, 8:49 PM
Okay, I'm sorry but if you are younger than 300 years old this is slightly rediculous.
However, points for the form
However, points for the form
on Unmasking Wyverns by horus8
9 May 2004, 8:48 PM
Not bad
on Dr. Skellington by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
9 May 2004, 8:47 PM
What the fuck
on IRONSHOE by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
9 May 2004, 8:47 PM
Not a Villanelle
So no vote
So no vote
on The folded ways your eyes cave by Shardik
9 May 2004, 8:46 PM
Jesus
on Migrating Storks by Blue Magpie
9 May 2004, 8:43 PM
Ten!
Nuff said
Nuff said
on Billy Bob Jo by Inconceivable_Dreams
9 May 2004, 8:42 PM
doesen't grab me