Re: love.term by ggawrysi	ggawrysi 67.81.241.50	7-May-04/12:37 AM
I don't think that this is what a programming poem is, but it's my best try at it...
Re: clay or mud (hertz donut version) by nentwined	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	6-May-04/12:07 PM
Funny how words can grow to meaning as I tinker with them, clay or mud. A new thing pops out of the mix sometimes. Good
Re: To Who Ever Wrote That Roller Coaster Poem... by Fear of Garbage	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	6-May-04/12:12 PM
Maybe it was "Loser" by Dan garcia-Black.
Re: clay or mud (hertz donut version) by nentwined	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	6-May-04/1:20 PM
A. Where is the other version? Searched. Came up penniless. B. Are you regressing to high school with the donut thing. Good but not quite you, this time.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	6-May-04/4:32 PM
I'm not entirely sure I get whats going on here, but it's pretty. May take a few more reads to completely get it.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	6-May-04/5:04 PM
I was going to give this a 10, but then I thought about how you yelled at me for not liking Bjork. You are, therefore, cursed with a 9. ;0)
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.236.63	6-May-04/5:52 PM
I like it, a bit whispy for my taste, but I still like it. Though "wreathed with flowers" has been said a tad too many times and since fallen into cliché. (Think of Poe "all wreathed in feathery fruits and flowers," Henry Lawson "London wreathed in flowers" and others) If I could be further permitted to wax whimsical her, the last line reminds me of a line in a french poem by Beauchemin: "La grêle tombe en plaine été" (Hail falls in the middle of summer) But all of this gives it a flavor of Deja Vu which seems in concord with the sentiments expressed. So you get another 9
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.236.63	6-May-04/5:58 PM
Well done! I think it might be more musical to say "Sky aglitter, fast expanding"
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.236.63	6-May-04/6:02 PM
Talk about surprise endings. Yeesh
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	6-May-04/7:01 PM
Yeesh!
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	6-May-04/7:13 PM
Smooth flow. That second line is very sweet. I'm put off a little by lowercase "i" the inconsistent apostophe usage.
Re: clay or mud (hertz donut version) by nentwined	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	6-May-04/7:16 PM
"yet" can go. Lots of twothree letter words in here... this could be very much distilled and made stronger, imho.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.236.63	6-May-04/7:43 PM
This should be posted on some bulletin board as a specimen of absolute stupidity. In other words, It sucks like a toothless whore
Re: To Who Ever Wrote That Roller Coaster Poem... by Fear of Garbage	Sasha 69.138.236.63	6-May-04/7:52 PM
One third rediculous, one sixth pointless, and half-vivid. You have therefore earned yourself a -7-
Re: California triolets by zodiac	ggawrysi 67.81.241.50	7-May-04/12:40 AM
I have only one criticism. Could you have used a different phrase for being very tired? Perhaps dead tired instead of dog tired? I'm being picky, but I was continually hung up on the word "dog." Otherwise the poem is extremely well done, I agree with everyone elses comments... wonderful imagery.
Re: this old man (edit) by Bill Z Bub	fevriere 213.232.79.42	7-May-04/1:35 AM
The first stanza is too much - I daren't say over-written - but the second has a ring to it.
Re: Starting Over by justjay	fevriere 213.232.79.42	7-May-04/1:36 AM
Sadly, I kinda like it. But have you ever seen an abyss?
Re: Epitaph by philn	zodiac 67.240.192.123	7-May-04/5:23 AM
If ever a poem was in need of a good smacking, it's this one.
Re: Epitaph by philn	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	7-May-04/6:13 AM
This poem is as entertaining as shopping with pants full of follow through, in a large out of town shopping centre, knowing that you have to get the bus home and someone has taken an overdose in the toilet affording you no possibility of discarding your soiled under garments. -10_
Re: Epitaph by philn	Nicholas Jones 137.44.1.30	7-May-04/6:56 AM
Needs work, but I like it. It is the lot of the middle class to be ashamed of who they are - something not true of the poor or the rich. It is the bourgeois burden.