richa
on 1 by Crakyamuni
15 Jul 2003, 11:44 AM
works well as graffiti. Enigmatic in any given context
Music, technology, and the technology of music...what more could one want but, the feelings you conjure. P-90 eh? cool axe.
You should call this "My gay Parson's nose ate a cracker" And then... go back to being an ugly nigger, nigger. I've seen Mexican jails with more charisma than this girly swat. Perhaps try swinging your purse, upwind?
right I am never nasty to anyone but you are one of the highest rated on this site and you start this poem:
Do you need a guy you can rely on
or just a shoulder to cry on?
its like everything I work for is meaningless and good poetry is all about assinine rhymes (irony) and dull cliches
I'm not ranking this, I just don't understand
I have a problem with 'infinitesimal'. Otherwise perfect, especially the last stanza.
I have a problem with 'that' in the 3rd-to-last line. Could it be "will" or perhaps just move straight to slowly?
Don't like the ... after own; mis-leading. Edit out 'my universe'.
There's an abrupt change between truck and car at the end, it disturbs this otherwise excellent poem.
Why should god save his mother, over all other? He doesn't save people that isn't what he does. He's the one who takes and does not give, hes greeder then my old man. I think your not asking the right person for the task at hand.
Funny, but stupid funny
Nice!!!! Nature deserve's more of our attention. I agree with Rod on the last line but, that's probably because the vanity of the city appeals less and less to me the more I get away from it.
8
bastard is the term i use for this particular type of person.. because its a dead man walking like a ghost, im not trying to be an ass ;/
for some reason I feel like it needs some tweaking. But, I like the visuals. sharp!
for some reason the last line bugs me.. "so its back to the city, and dancing to be flowers"..7
Life is for the living, and when you're old a comfy chair is worth the loss of a few principles. Nice flow, succinct.
Terrific. Simpler than your usual fare, but your rhyme & rythmn are spot on and some of the images still have the drama and intelligence I expect from you: "Smoke from the trees" "...buffers..." Your a pro.
the first three lines are very good.
A black man's knob is seldom dissappointing.