horus8
on Goddess of the vineyard by INTRANSIT
11 Jun 2003, 12:44 PM
and bare feet. (I'll send you my edit from last night, it obviously didn't reach you, stand by).
Nice poem.
Wonderful. Last two lines were great. Catchy title, too. 9
i am soo lost....
I don't mean to be rude, but why did you write this? To convey to us just how shattered you are? Don't you get bored with teen angst droolery? Be a big girl and squat your head into an oven and suck gas, or better yet float face first in the neighbors pool. that takes style and guts. Why do idiots that can't write denounce poetry somehow equates suicide? All of these stupid fucking teenage autrocious poets cutting themselves. Good god if you spent as much time writing as you do day dreaming about cutting off your clit and shoving it up your dads ass, you'd fucking be a poet and not think about hurting herself or my eyes with this 10 year old cry bag o molestation 101.
Long. Mr. Soderstrom, I am sorry to say, your poem is entirely too long. Also, I agree with Bachus. However, I don't even think I could write THAT much poetry, good, bad or otherwise, so I give you a 5 (I suspect that it took that many minutes to type). Try shortening it, and using less quotes and hypens.
No, because your sheets are covered in poop, not blood.
I believe you need to muster your nude form back to the typing table, there are some serious typos and horrible flaws in this poem, but the sentiment was maintained, somehow.
Great haiku! 10!
Good god you are a fucking spinner.
lol.
Naughty.
Weird.
Amazing job, Mr. Pig... the only word that comes even close to describing how I felt while reading this poem is "wow." Bravo.
Picasso.
This poem flows like cholesterol in Dom Delouis.
You make it impossible for anyone to read it, why?
Why in the fuck would you do that? Such a simple thought and message, and you've been waiting your
whole fucking life to say it, and it comes out like this? You are A GAFF PICASSO CHICK. Use an axe, it's more effecient.
are you studying a specific style of poetry? feels like it. I do like your writing though.