sir_heff
on Understand by Luv2write
22 Apr 2003, 9:23 AM
i think you should revise the last 3 lines
Beautiful, esp. last four lines.
bingo.
nice images. a little obtuse?
Is this poem supposed to be shaped like a beehive?
Yes, obtuse (one of those words we all learn in math and toss around later at frat parties as a sign of intelligence and breeding ability) but know, look it up. this poem is hardly obtuse. Scattered, symbolically riddled and a bit cryptic (just a tad) but not obtuse. Nice cleavage by the way, i pulled a load off to um last night and lost not a beed to bargain.
After I read this poem and reading all of the comments I investigated for myself the origin of aids. It was actually a bacteria found in monkeys in south Africa, you wanna know how it came to America? Some sicko did a monkey in the bum, contracted the disease and then did his gay friend in the bum who then turned around and did about 25 others gay guys in the bum. Before you knew it gay people were havin sex with women durring their threesomes and gave it to them. So when the infected women did it with straight guys they got it too. All becuz some dude down in Africa got lonely and raped a monkey in the bum, now THAT is sick and disturbing. If all you people really think this is a horrible disease then you wouldnt stick up for gay people, what they do is unnatural and debase, more aids are passed between gay lovers then anyother source. I find it horrible that innocent people contract this disease and have to live with it. But that doesnt happen exponentially, what does happen alot is gay guys doing other gay guys up the bum. I cant for the life of me understand why anyone would think that homosexuality is normal, IT ISNT, waste comes out of your bum, a bum was not designed to have a wiener in it. What exactly does a penis in the bum do? Nothing! A penis goes in a vagina!!! Its that simple, you do it for making babies and populating the planet. IF the whole world were gay it would die and nothing would last very long. Two men cannot have kids, all they can do is have gay sex and spread diseases. Homosexuality is a mental disease, you are not born with it you slowly become it from what you do. PEOPLE think before you stand up for gay people, they dont need you to stand up for them, what they need is counseling becuase they are screwed up. They need love, just like any other person with problems.
Whats babycham? Chambord? The changes are subtle but better. Still a fun story.
Right on!
Hey dude, can't say i like most of your stuff but this one appeals to me. I feel i could elaborate for hours around the second section. A few grammar and spelling corrections and i would love it.
replEnished. A religious Eminem? Liked it anyway.
Okey dokey. you go coda chrome. go like kitty to yarn, and i'm going to go to the head now. (give yourself another ten for nailing it!)
i love line 17 thats good shit!
i feel like that all the time.
and your probly "worthy" of more than you think
that was the most horriable poem i have ever given a 9 :)
i like the first half, second half could use a little work
After I read this poem and reading all of the comments I investigated for myself the origin of aids. It was actually a bacteria found in monkeys in south Africa, you wanna know how it came to America? Some sicko did a monkey in the bum, contracted the disease and then did his gay friend in the bum who then turned around and did about 25 others gay guys in the bum. Before you knew it gay people were havin sex with women durring their threesomes and gave it to them. So when the infected women did it with straight guys they got it too. All becuz some dude down in Africa got lonely and raped a monkey in the bum, now THAT is sick and disturbing. If all you people really think this is a horrible disease then you wouldnt stick up for gay people, what they do is unnatural and debase, more aids are passed between gay lovers then anyother source. I find it horrible that innocent people contract this disease and have to live with it. But that doesnt happen exponentially, what does happen alot is gay guys doing other gay guys up the bum. I cant for the life of me understand why anyone would think that homosexuality is normal, IT ISNT, waste comes out of your bum, a bum was not designed to have a wiener in it. What exactly does a penis in the bum do? Nothing! A penis goes in a vagina!!! Its that simple, you do it for making babies and populating the planet. IF the whole world were gay it would die and nothing would last very long. Two men cannot have kids, all they can do is have gay sex and spread diseases. Homosexuality is a mental disease, you are not born with it you slowly become it from what you do. PEOPLE think before you stand up for gay people, they dont need you to stand up for them, what they need is counseling becuase they are screwed up. They need love, just like any other person with problems.
Word up chitlin!
Noone really knows what concrete or dada poetry is.
By someone who does.