some deleted user
on glazed point of view by sir_heff
22 Apr 2003, 6:19 PM
i luv it
If this ever dissappears, I'll die.
Lemmy & motorhead have a new song called the 'face of gaids' it jams. check it out.
Ummm... I know how it feels when everyone's mating around you... but not hanging from a tree... so I can't really relate.
But, it would be really ace if he washed his pecker off in the sink with some irish spring.
r u tryin to describe humility?
its ok,
not sure i'm convinced, but quite clever nevertheless
Lead in with gentle cliches
then bang ' a placid pool' really makes this short poem
hmm, kinda plan
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Some small confusion of tense at the beginning. I can't put my finger on it, perhaps it's just too unusual. You've taught me something about repetion. You put it to good use.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
22 Apr 2003, 6:04 PM
dame, i feel dirty just reading it, nice, 8
Dude, what the fuck? I assume you're not talking about your own brain, cause on the evidence of this you wouldn't even notice if you shat it out. Funny poem though...
(0 to try and get you into the bottom 15)
not your best work. good though
Seemed to take a dramatic turn near the end
Thats where I liked it best
Nice full picture built up
I love this poem very much. Last line 3rd stanza feels different than the rest; out-of-place sort of, thou I hate to critize such loveliness. Maybe it just takes some getting use to.
I love saying it. Terrific vowels, and beyond that a strong idea. Good for you! Poems are no more than sketches drawn in sand, an instantaneous view, an instant need to tell.
Funny to think of you, an artist, wiping grease off his hands on a red shop towel. In my mind I see you plaid and baseball cap, grabbing the hand rail and hoisting yourself up to the cab.
At first I thought you had written "falling from her gravy" you know, like "falling from grace", but not "from grace", "from her gravy". That would have been quite good maybe.
Even better! The breeze is used much more effectively this time. 9