i think u should do more then kiss

hmm...ok, but could use more feeling

ok

you might have a too, or a to, crossed, but that's trendy, and kool too.

u can make this better

Depeche mode is fucking awesome.

razor!!! just for you: http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a208 xo, z

dammit. i was looking for 'cocks' to rhyme with 'clocks.' and you get all serious on me.

dammit! again, you miss the chance for the rhyme!!!!!

hmm. not the cock i have been thinking on, but i can see how it works better for the poem that way. :|

love it muchly

Lagniappe, is the word of the week, not suck.

better. I like it. one thing jars for me: "eating away the lining" The image of drinking tears is quite vivid for me, and plausible enough that I want to imagine it being true, that you do literally drink the tears. I want to put myself in the poem and vicariously feel the salt burning my throat. But then, if they ate away the lining of your stomach, you'd be dead and unable to have written the poem. By being TOO strong, it disassociates me, throws me out of the poem. See what I mean? If I were editing this poem, I would change away to at, "eating at the lining". Then I can still vicariously experience it. Lots of people might disagree with me though, some people like their images and metaphors as over-the-top as you can make 'em.

i'm not sure what ur sayin here

Sir, how dare ye just give the secret confusion poem formula over like this. You have besmirched your last hoof. The time has come to put our feet down. lol.

I really like this one. It's very true and really well written. Wonderful.

Sttl, read the Dylan Thomas poem 'Incarnate Devil'.

But can you play the marimba naked?

Awesome

nice.