Very good, but the tense is mixed up. It's either 'comes' or 'Sun bled........silver assasin appeared".

Silverstem hit it, it is dreamy and enchanted, so glad you used saturn and not Uranus - beautifully done -9-

I think you could have told this better avoiding the cliches, you've written a lot without saying much, try and evoke more depth to your work. -4-

See you can do it, when you try. Top marks.

How charming my dear, thank you this is wonderful god bless you

Your a bit too early. Maybe in April I'll empathise. But today is very cold and windy. So cold and windy your head hurts if you forget your hat.

you whizzed on your legs?

universal isn't it?

I like "silver assassin", but the rest ... seems almost there. just not quite.

i think i like this one the most of all of yours i've read so far. it has such a sway to it, draws one in...

Beautiful. Sounds like your "both" in love.

you can really feel your pain in this one.

how very dark

Or the girl that can chop off your pee pee with a potato peeler?

Well. You would know. I believe that your images could tie in some how, more easily to what you are attempting to say here. If you did not push them so.

Groovin'. Chive-tastic. All I get is the drunk/junkie homeless doing their thing in the graveyard across the street from my place. Maybe I should offer chives?

If there's anything this world needs more, it's Batman scat slash. Hell with this love that the others talk about.

Well, I'm amused. Soap-droppingly good.

Delightful.

I think I would have liked hammock better (netted swing is poetic, but I didn't get it). this is simple and short, densely packed with common images, but... the collage is almost poignant. leans towards trite. maybe just the "ing ing ing".