OK, so you're not a kung fu master. Or a haiku master for that matter.But, it's fun, take a friggin' nap will ya! And thanks for leaving my dumb ass on the site.You knew I'd be back didntcha?

I get it. I think. Or do I? Oh well, I liked it anyway.

Not bad. I'd be interested to read more.

Effective.

Sweeet. Thats perfect as far as I'm concerned.

Many typos.

welcome, monotype. don't need the title twice, otherwise i can find no fault with this poem. it blacks me blue, too.

weaves and bobs aprropriately.

just get a little bottle, and you'll be okay

good and simple, but I have to agree with half the folks so far that I want it built up into something more.

the flow in the last bit is a bit awkward (might drop "in" from health and slur "aware'f"...) and the bee thing throws me, though reading the comments it makes sense. I also don't really get what the "fish" theme is trying to signify.

too jerky for my tastes? I am unschooled in these things. :(

:hehehe: cute. :)

what, you don't call, you don't write--how was the show? all right?

The c is sharp and for that we must thank microsoft. I am NOT A NUMBER! I am a... uh...

Haha. Surprise ending.

this keeps me tottering on the edge of each line until the end -- a very nice feeling, especially on caffeine. :)

Rather boring. You gave yourself another 10.

use more concrete imagery, but I like your style

I can't get into this. feels more like a grocery list than a poem. (yes, I'm sure a grocery list could be turned into a flowing poem, but..)