god'swife
on At The Sloane Slattery on Saturday by Limness
30 Sep 2002, 2:00 PM
Belching is mis-spelled.
try banging your head against a wall. then you can see colors, too, and not just black.
huh.
Left me with a sad creepy feeling.
Boring piece of crap. Good title.
god'swife
on A Sign on a Giant Donut at a Twenty Four Hour a Day Donut Shop Overlooking Pacific Coast Highway in Sunset Beach California at Eight in the Evening on September Twenty Fourth Two-Thousand and Two by Dark Angle
30 Sep 2002, 1:55 PM
Read Richard Brautigan. He would have given this poem a 10.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 1:59 PM
babbit...amazing poem...I'm a singer/songwriter and would love to put this to music....please let me know what you think....
wow, this is heavy. Steven is like way cool. I thought "kutters" were actually :cutters," which were old stone masons. Didn't you see the greatest cycling movie of all time, "Breaking Away"? I am scared. Stuttering quite frankly with the seriousness of this amazing poem. Pull out the razor!! And the eyeliner. And just for future reference you are not living in Missouri but Misery! That will make all the difference.
The passion is undeniable, but other than that this has nothning going for it. Insanity's a gift, but if you're going to create poetry with it, you've got to control it. Build a dam, a windmill. Transform yourself.
Nice rythmn, and images. S3 is very endearing. What's a Slattery?
Stupid, funny, then stupid again.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 3:35 PM
The best poem I have ever read!! No wonder you gave yourself a 10.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 1:02 PM
~*i enjoyed your style tremendously. reminds me of JR Tolken for some reason.`shrug`*~
Very powerful towards the end. I like the way this thing builds. Line 7 seems to have a grammatical error of some kind, or I just don't get it.
Great poem vulcan!
shows the real confusion of an adolescent, and the whole story of a loser's life (haha)--quite funny
"The air is cool, the sun is hot,
In between seasons, and time's forgot"
I do not like this, no I do not, I do not like this I think it flops. I guess I want more from the ending. If it was as good as the first stanza, you would have it. I am not going to vote until you quit stopping off at the bar before coming home.
wow, this is even worse than abigail's stuff.
i want more impact on line 3, pretty please.