Re: The Man I Love by Dovina	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:53 PM
That's good, because most likely, that's exactly who he's going to be. ;0)
Re: Ceylon Cries by Mona Lisa	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	15-Feb-05/5:32 AM
Your Haiku series on current affairs continues to amaze! Please do one on Charles and Camilla, my one is rubbish: ears in a bridal party, the synod ejects equine betrothal.
Re: The Man I Love by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	15-Feb-05/5:48 AM
A man that would understand what the hell your forever parping on about! For god sake set your sights a little more realistically, try a man who doesn't run away whilst throwing up when you lurch into the room like a floundering minky.
Re: The Man I Love by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	15-Feb-05/6:13 AM
But can he be black? Can he be black...
Re: Children in the Storm by thepinkbunnyofdoom	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:55 PM
some spelling and punctuation errors, but overall, pretty good. Worth an edit.
Re: Piercings by PsydewaysTears	PsydewaysTears 69.240.74.35	14-Feb-05/9:00 PM
The rhymes are simple but they don't stray from the topic or twist the syntax. Each set of two-lines connect. Nowhere does a rhyme create a sore-thumb of a section or an unbefitting line-ending. Obviousness doesn't make a rhyme forced.
Re: Bridesmaids in the Rain by wilco	Plaidypus 68.14.27.48	14-Feb-05/9:02 PM
"Dancing with the (INSERT CLICHE) Cliche, cliche, cliche What rhymes with RAIN? Cliche, cliche, Candy Cane Cliche, cliche, vomit stain dancing with the....ooops, I'm passing out from boredom....
Re: a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	sliver 172.194.193.133	14-Feb-05/11:15 PM
You seemed to be chasing your tail for a bit, But really quite well written. Me likey
Re: Bleed ,Rip and Tear by NoSage	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	15-Feb-05/2:06 AM
In Gethsemane, Jesu asked of the Lord (Matthew 26: 39) "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Clearly Jesu thought, on the off chance, that the Lord (who was also Jesu) may have known of a different, less grotesque method of cleansing us of our sins, and was only sending Jesu to His death more or less on a whim. Alas this was not so, but does it not portray the Bearded Carpenter during a momentary lapse into lukewarmedness? Good Christ I hope not.
Re: Little Fly by PodPoet	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	15-Feb-05/2:18 AM
An extraordinarily insightful poeme. Right from the opening couplet: "There used to be a little fly Who saw the world through all her eyes" I knew that whatever followed was destined to be "unbelievably profound." Clearly what the world needs is more flies, more love from above, more presents for Saddam Hussein, and more religion. Especially in the Middle East. Flawless -10-
Re: Never... by jessicazee	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	15-Feb-05/2:25 AM
"lean on the strong things that marrow" What the hell does that mean :( -10-
Re: Bleed ,Rip and Tear by NoSage	Dovina 12.72.4.92	15-Feb-05/3:42 PM
Please don't call this a sonnet. Thank you, I feel better now. The first half is a nice little sermon on using small hurts to our advantage. Some will say that all preaching in poetry is bad. "Show, don't tell," they chant endlessly. But I like your little sermon. Then you get weird with the lukewarm thing, as if you might be bringing Scripture into it. And when God talks, well, it seems like a another way of saying to use hurts to our advantage.
Re: Little Fly by PodPoet	Dovina 12.72.4.92	15-Feb-05/3:49 PM
lol. It's not clear whether you're serious or poking fun, and that makes it a good poem. I don't think you should call it Concrete.
Re: Never... by jessicazee	Dovina 12.72.4.92	15-Feb-05/3:53 PM
A lot of these lines are just silly, but "Never believe anyone who doubts your trust" makes sense.
regarding some deleted poem...	thisismyusername 64.136.27.225	15-Feb-05/3:53 PM
nice nice nice...good poem...keep it up!
regarding some deleted poem...	thisismyusername 64.136.27.225	15-Feb-05/3:55 PM
i love this poem/prayer!!!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	thisismyusername 64.136.27.225	15-Feb-05/3:56 PM
awesome...as usual
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.4.92	15-Feb-05/4:01 PM
The first nine lines are good, but need some trimming. The rest is downhill.
Re: The Man I Love by Dovina	jroday 204.215.33.13	15-Feb-05/8:00 AM
Dovina love hard, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. You don't have to explain nothing to no one. What people think and say about you is none of your business.
Re: Christmas Break by Plaidypus	wilco 24.165.207.93	15-Feb-05/2:16 PM
See, ok, you wrote poetry here, and it's pretty good.