Yes, I like it better.

Starlit night: Cliché Nightly gloom: Redundant cliché Find a less cliché word than "Ghostly" Other than that, not bad

Actually... I have SARS. This is not funny.... Shame on you John Rambo! :)

ur gay

A nice nostalgia. Where is this joint?

I like embiggens. At least capitalize her name. Line 4 adds ambiguity - good. I don't know homer, would like to.

Good expression, good ideas, may they rest in peace.

I see a lyric. The first two lines being the refrain. Add to it. Really.

My gut says, this is a jump off point for what you really want to say. Sit on it.

I feel you working up to something in the first verse and then kinda fade away in the second, it needs some strength to show conviction. I like the idea of learning from an unexpected source.

perfect last line - love it when reading one that hits ya just like that.

I like it - although I'm not sure if I should.

I took the advice of my fellow poets and rewrote and submit for your comments. Thank you all.

Ha! I almost didn't like the word > chant. boo on me.

Sorry. Even broken up, rest of the best, bugs me.

Could you explain the term "movement" to me ? Using this piece as a for instance, if you like.

Moon hanging: Cliché

Any one that says metered/lyrical poetry is dead can go to the deep for all I care.

I likes.

Play with the line breaks, would be my suggestion. From stanza two: drank from sweat and tears devoured refusal to stop searching for the promised land. no vote. yet.