Dan garcia-Black
on Lonelier than you- by samuel sturgeon
17 Aug 2004, 7:50 AM
I felt just like this once...a couple of times.
Evocative. Good use of dark, quiet images.
Enjoyable, I can allmost see you behind those walls.
Vote on mine I'll vote on yours!
Keep writing about writing,
Have fat women sing,
If the waiters must come
Have them bring more bling bling
Seems to stop. abruptly. once too many, times. rewrite.
Ya know, I'd like to give this a zero, not because I don't like it, but for the 0's you've given me .. on better things. still, I think the o's are for others to come, but not from me.
Punctuation, 0
regret, 6
continuity, 2 {of again and shadows}?
intensity 8.
rewrite. total 6
my computer says you had 23 comments on this poem
All these hits and no more comments? come on!
Damn caity, wasn't worth it at all, was it?
Readit again, out loud, maybe three times.
By the way, I meant the relationship, not the poem.
i liked -8-
sliver
replying on Who are the best poets on poemranker? (A list by me) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
16 Aug 2004, 8:40 PM
ask me if i really give a shit, considering that I came in 34th, and hoarus, bvaba, wharever he calls yourself has given me nothing but a majority of gooose eggs. what da heall,eh?
*8* ^^ i likey
*10* ^^ I understand it Rainy, You still have feelings for Adam, But your in love with Josh, .. you still like Adam, because love doesnt just fade away...I understand..wow mircale..hehe ^^
Another very nice one!
"How about the little blue pill of the protracted night?" JK
To me the center of the poem is:
"And I awaken to the dim hum
of my room's quiet seclusion,
And wonder where she sleeps tonight,
Wonder why our eager joining went so wrong,
Wonder if her delicate sweetness was ever given for free?"
It's never free, but it can sometimes be reasonable. -9-
Imagery reminiscent of Sandburg? Are you a sandburger? -9-
Very well.
I respectfully submit (or re-submit) that the term 'PC' as it's used in America always refers to cliquish whitefolk who are embarrassed about not knowing any real Coloureds and think referring to Females and Homos as Persons will improve their chances of getting laid by one or the other. Anyone who has ever met a Coloured or Homo or spent any time in the company of Females knows this is not the case. In addition, 'PiCs' (or 'Persons with PC', as they would have it,) have historically shown themselves to be frightful racistists, sexistists, dunceistists and generally stuck-up virgin introverts. They laugh at 'un-PC humor' because they think it's genuinely funny and true, so their laughter is almost always a kind of lewd repressed giggle and disgusting. If I've mentioned once on this and similar posts, I've mentioned a thousand times that SupremeDreamer has never been nearer to Deep South than Oakland (cf. the adjective 'cold' used in reference to Mississippi), and that despite coming from a renowned hotbed of political correctness, he has never in his life been correct, to say nothing of politically correct.
cat,
I'm sorry to have been so hard on you before, but your continually saying things like 'friends of the rainbow that is earth', 'prejudice' instead of 'prejudiced', 'semantics' instead of god-knows-what, and other irrational gobbledygook pisses me off beyond belief, for reasons which probably have more to do with my own hopeless gay introversion than your dimness or whatever. I hope you can come to see me as a decent guy who just feels really bad about himself because he doesn't have any friends or something (and so 'takes it out' on 'aspiring internet poets' in rambling anonymous tirades,) and if we ever meet in public, I know you'll think I'm a nice guy with real feelings. Anyway, no hard feelings (I hope!;-p) Thanks for helping to make poemranker all it can be! PS-I read all your poems and you're all aces! -zodiac