At first glance on the recent poemes list, I thought the title was "Love Stain". Having eagerly clicked on it, you cannot even begin to imagine my disappointment at seeing the title was actually "Love Slain", and that the poeme was rife with lines like "This love just can never be". -10-

Yeh this one's cool too. Think I like the first one the best.

Yeh this one's real. I like it.

You are a prize clot.

less ars, and more poetica, please.

here.

ditto

you could almost remove the first word of every line and the thing would be better for it. I like this one.

There's some good language in here though it comes off a little choppy'list-like. How is that fixed? Try, if you want, playing with where the lines end and your preposition use (there are lots of them in here). Flow and show?

Absolutely splendid.

It's hard to comment on something so vague, but: Shadows can be anything I want Flames a hot breath Fragments of bliss Memories remain though Evidence fade The undone haunts again Opportunity lost I carry the heavy urn Spread ashes among the young, Growing trees

I'm lucky. With my ruffles over my head, I stand to tinkle and make the wood donut even more dreadful on future other's hindquarters.

This reminds me more of an outline or some notes for a poem. Should be distilled quite a bit.

Unfitting a "man" of his stature.

Dovina - this is somewhat strange. it really is.

With the vocabulary and the big telling that comes from the big words this quickly becomes a tough sell.