Stephen Robins
on Obituary for the Moon by wilco
10 May 2004, 1:20 AM
BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE
An endearingly heartfelt guff.
Poetry doesn't have to follow your fascist rules, Sasha.
Shut up, or me and dark angel will kick your ass wagon and get gravy on your poontain Sasha.
See, unlike you friend, this has nothing to do with me?
Why you would think it helps me cope is exactly what's wrong with your work. I don't necessarily have to include myself in my work, or my message. I approach poetry like a bad novelist. Which allows me to completely get into character without pulling a Silvia Plath down the toilel.
The majority of my work is done from an angle that allows me to not be 'SO' involved, try it.
Rediculous and forced rhymes
Okay, I'm sorry but if you are younger than 300 years old this is slightly rediculous.
However, points for the form
Not bad
What the fuck
Not a Villanelle
So no vote
Jesus
Ten!
Nuff said
doesen't grab me
largess should be largesse
Very good
-9-
Not a sonnet
No vote
Forced rhymes.
You can't cross an i
I'm glad it's not just me. People I think vote more my status than my poetry. Or something.
In my depression I felt it had to be crap.
Feeling somewhat better, I find it very interesting crap; the stacatto-like almost-flow is nice. Or almost nice. The message--over-simplistic, if there at all. La.
You're all too kind, even the 7.
Good calls. all of them. How about Z's suggestion? Maybe a line break there, sans the exclam, of course.
a Bounty of thanks to you.