mistake #1: title and opening line repeat. aaaargh!!! suggested title: 'frisson, unfrozen' why 'ice season'? has it really been an entire season? or just a hastily-made peace that's grown into a rift? 'will we have to get'--dude, economize! save the breath for when you need it! 'must we' will suffice to thaw this ice!! the rest of it melts off my tongue, deliciously. now, if you would only ind a way to ease me in--instead of making me fell like you're cranking that pontiac, hoping it will turn over! bueno.

nice, dry feeling to this, h. watch the periods. they break it up too much, maybe. give me a reason your face has been turned away by these things, as the rest of you is a part of the schema. maybe not 'death without song' but more so death with an unvoiced sound? lose the ... on the second to last line. it cheapens the poem. the rest, in my opinion, is nicely done.

One minute after dozing, I thought that I was a-blazing, My blood it was a-boiling, It was amazing.

When you write these poems, do you give any consideration to how they work in real-life, or is it all about the allegory? To wit: "The air that escapes his lungs shall not return," - The truth is that it probably will sooner or later, especially if he's in some kind of phone or porn-viewing booth. I just think it would help for you to keep that kind of thing in mind, is all. You know, write poems about things that could actually happen. -Feeling Helpful in Waukeegan

Great title. Good last line. In between a bit sobby.

That's not a ghazal.

Herpes.

The Law of Diminishing Returns asserts that marginal gains in profit begin to decrease at a certain point of production and that this reduction continues as more output is produced until marginal gains are actually negative (negative returns). I believe that this princiiple is actually at play with regard to your work which continues to be highly fragmented and disjointed, lacks originality and is agonizingly melodramatic. It all smells so much like a sorry assed soap opera...Hey but who am I to judge you .....my writing sucks too. Peace Joe-Joe

Ive been there before, funny how things that we think will never change seem to change the most

Kinda reminds me (with the numbers) of the old Houghton-Mifflin anthologies from high school.

Since you told us the wood is the habitat, I'll believe you, but woud not have thought of it that way. Otherwise, I like it much.

Good, but why the numbers? Makes it look too corporate.

After reading the comments, I considered reading this. Then I thought better of it.

all my critiques were previously stated by others. i will simply state that i enjoyed it.

I'm assuming that you've read "I, Robot." The poem reminded me of it; if you haven't read it, definitely pick it up. Isaac Asimov picks up that question and a whole slew of others. As for the poem itself, I like how in four short lines you address two key issues: AI and slavery. Well done.

rather depressing at the end there