tre
on Blinking by zodiac
14 Apr 2004, 6:05 PM
got a kick out of the second to last line :)
cute.
Stanza 2 is true only sometimes. Still some good ideas here.
I'm sorry, but you're not a native french speaker.
Funny.
dolphins are _verry_ eenteresting creatures; worthy of more exploration.
2 quick things, 1) they basically don't sleep and barely dream - 2) they have a sense of "self" that most other animals lack (they can recognize themselves in a mirror, for example).
I know, not much to do with the poem - but maybe it gives you some ideas.
cool, thx.
i honestly didn't even think of that, but when i was trying to think of an animal to compare to humans dolphins just popped in. i guess it was in the back of my mind. ever hum a tune and think that you've created something original, only to go home and see a commercial with the same tune? same idea.
a girl sits under a tree and a wolf suddenlycomes - she screams?
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
14 Apr 2004, 9:23 AM
Of course I do.
Hey, excellent useless mastery of a dead language!
But do you know QBasic?
I do.
funny
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
14 Apr 2004, 8:03 AM
Puellae sub arbore sedent. Subito lupus adit. "eheu!" exclamant.
you fail
i'd hav to agree with Supreme.. intolerably lengthy, but maybe you meant it that way - due to the subject?
Agree with horus, the 1st stanza is quite expuisite in the way it is written. You are a fine talent richard.
Stanzas 3-4 are copped from Doug Adams. To wit: "Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars, etc... and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish, and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
Brutus est in atrium. Caecilius est in die via.
this poem is different and refreshingly unique. however, i think that you could have spent more time on it; it sounds like you accepted the first rhyme that came to your head instead of looking for a better word that flowed more. for ambitious creativity, you get an 8
i was amused, and i think that Shuushin was mistaken about S3; you have to read it out loud, it flows better. however, i had a little trouble with S5, lost the rhythm. overall, very well done.