poetandknowit
on You'd sell more hats, mugs, and shirts if they said... by Shardik
20 Oct 2003, 10:42 PM
So what.
"self pity is cliche ridden" is a fallacy.
"sarcasm hasnt been as viciouse untill you came along" - I have always been here.
poetandknowit
on When I say I'm a 14 yr old girl I mean 75 year old man by Shardik
20 Oct 2003, 10:04 PM
Cutting edge!!!!!!!! Super!!!!!!
Beat us over the head. Go ahead. Beat us.
I'm going to save a limb from an electronic tree and just agree with hatters hare completely.
There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
Good sustained imagery and the repetition of phrases is effective. Overall, a well-done sonnet, worthy of a better title (says one who sucks at titles).
Indeede, a fine yarn in true 'rankerlecherous tradition.
You tell a good tale. Some minor snipping could make this even more immediate (small stuff--like in the first verse, "teams of chainsaws cope" makes "trying to deal" unnecessary; drop "unfortunately" (telling); stuff like that). I like the ending.
New Mediocrity Code: 34C8A040
i think i hate it when you say "Other than that lovely. And such original thinking."
sarcasm hasnt been as viciouse untill you came along.
anyway, self pity is cliche ridden, usually, sue me.
i wrote it to whine, publicly.
hrmm. why not? thanks for the title.
Have Mr. Fire put it to work and I shall.
Pardon the malfunction in Line 12. It should read itâs (used properly) âitâsâ. With Mr. Angelâs time saving device, I would have been spared such indignities.
I fear you have confused Carawax's Process with Carawax's Liniment. Quickly, make sure she hasn't ... O God!
Good one! While you're at it, why not purloin a pea-green Civilian's Cape and smoke opium from a vessel of your own self-pity?
Call it "Drug Addict".
Brilliant!!
My mother started using it, and now her age spots have completely faded away!