Jeremi B. Handrinos
on Decay by INTRANSIT
20 Oct 2003, 2:24 PM
Might I suggest a collapsing parking structure and a legless prostitute in a rusting radio flyer?
Why not use Dr. Carawax's patented automatronic poetry-criticism Process? It's top!
http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/medio
Letâs see:
Line 1: cliché
Line: 2: cliché
Line 3: cliché
Line 4: what are you 14?
Line 5: vague and bordering cliché
Line6: cliché
Line 7/8: see Line 4.
Line: 9 cliché
Line 10: See line 4.
Line 11: why not evâr more for effect, I mean the poem is shit anyway, might as well go all the way.
Line 12: itâs âitââ â also see line 4.
Line 13/14/15: could be good if not leaning toward cliché
Line 16: stupid. See line 4.
Other than that lovely. And such original thinking.
what has become of post 11538?
"rotting time"
"hollow stone"
"eternal view"
"insomniatic dreams"
I could do with one less "warm" in the last stanza.
a flash of inspiration.
Oh, I get it, because of the three poems a week thing. Ok. Good for you then. I wish I had the time to write as freely as I once did.
two questions:
Why only one (C)?
How does one turn themselves over to their ruling planet, anyway.
L-4 with much stronger ties. small bump.
NATURE!!!
Thank you.
Yes, absolutely CA, I just got back from the Lake and (having been there before) was absolutely shocked (horrified)(a little morbidly delighted) to see what I saw.
especially like that someone pretending to be a 14 yr old girl and suggesting someone to 'pull on my whiskers'
Reminds me of little red riding hood.
"Rusty Hull-ed ship
carries disease
Rusty shopping cart
beggar on his knees"
You may omit the rest.
You're just annoyed that someone else is using your method of poetry-writing.
34C02011
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