Bachus
on The Light by the_unknown_angel83
25 Sep 2003, 3:59 PM
Sounds like a bad case of microwaved sodomy.
Looking at a shrunken gland surpasses reading this.
Denied!
[_] AABB rhyming scheme
[_] About drugs
[_] About romantic love
[_] About writing
[_] About suicide or self-mutilation
[_] About the author's social pastimes
[X] Arbitrary indentation
[X] Arbitrary line breaks
[_] Autobiographical but written in the third person
[X] Clerical errors
[_] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, tears falling like rain)
[_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart)
[_] Clichéd angst words (putrid, wretched)
[X] Devoid of rhyme
[X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, onomatopoeia)
[X] Devoid of other literary devices (simile, synaesthesia)
[X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery
[X] Ellipses used overabundantly
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Internet shorthand or emoticons
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[_] 'Lyrics'
[_] Melodramatic
[X] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[X] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Rage against the machine
[X] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimonious
[X] Self-obsessed
[_] Sentimental
[_] Smugly-named protagonist
[_] Thesaurophilia
[_] Untitled
[_] Vicarious wish fulfilment
-12-
Thank you -=Bum_Face=- if thats your real name
Its great that you took the time to come and vote!!
Though I must confess I thought you'd given up voting. Thank you for making an exception!
What bit did you like the best?
Was it the pounding?
the watersports?
or the tag team bit?
better?
Oh -=Dark_Angel=-. I may call you -=Dark_Angel=- mayn't I? What with the cooking and the cleaning and the gusset scrubing to be done I'm just not sure I have time. You know I try to put a little time aside, what i like to call quality ME time, but recently things have just been getting on top of me. Even so i'm not sure that i could write "more" childe abusee poemes even if i had the time. Thank you for the interest and I'll try to keep you posted!!!!
like the transcription of an adolescent hissy fit.
Not too much that could be criticised by DA's mediocre poetry chart here. In that sense this is refreshing.
Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.
yes, if only all science lessons were given in haiku, or vilanelle or tanka or the like. We could all be happy in the knowledge that we would never have to go to english class again.
Wow, you must have so much burning rage and pure beautiful energy if you couldn't post without holding something back. It's obvious that the only thing you're holding back is a silly temper tantrum about your parents/boyfriend/best friend "betraying" you, so while you aren't going to offend anyone by posting it here, you'll just upset yourself in the long run when nobody fucking likes it. Thanks!
Your friend,
doug
Quality
When are you going to write some more child abuse poemes?
There should be more vestibular sacs in the human body. Frantically sellotaping on ever newer harvests of Bowman's Capsules simply isn't working anymore.
Earwig baby snacks
Pass me that sex wax
f
Thank you for your kind words :) it's nice to see people are reading these :)
You live separate lives? Why i've never heard of anything quite so confoundedly ridiculous, or selfish, in all my time here 'pon peomranker What were you thinking?
Otherwise this is abrilliant poem with just the right amount of intrigue, symbolism and realism. I particularly liked the beautifully worked sting in the tail which i'm sure no one could have anticipated.