i am selfishly voracious when it comes to words. and i know what it feels like to think i am being clear in my writing, only to see, later, that i was too far inside the idea to communicate it effectively. i just like calling YOU out, dreamer.

just say the truth: you like calling poets out. ;P

where is the correlation between the 1/4 step and the earthwork? more than selfishness, here. personal taste in music, aesthetism, and utility explain these creations. and the question asked here, rhetorically, is will you dine with me. i misunderstand how any of these things can be selfish, richard. unless you mean to say that we have no right to shape anything. we are animals richard; survival and prosperity are different than self-gratification. please explain what you meant, again. i'm feeling particularly dense this morning.

aaaahhhh.. ok, ok. hrmm.. i like some of those suggestions.. mind if i grab some? or is that cheating?

Papa, how I miss you, as I sit alone with a glass (of wine.) ((of)) summer Home Sauvignon Blanc, the drink you always favored. Your face would be in a book as you slowly ate. Michael Crichton, Dick Francis, Clive Cussler, and Tom Clancy- (Just a few of your favorite authors in your large library.) Blue-grey eyes would be hidden behind thick glasses as you quickly scanned the pages (line for line.) (Your mind) leisurely digested ((ing)) the words with a silent appreciation. I recall how annoyed you would get when I asked what you were reading. Your answers would inspire a whole set of new questions. Your patience (was) tested as you calmly answered each one. Learning quickly, I made sure not to disturb you in your pure adoration of fiction. My eyes stare now at that empty chair; your jeweled throne. My ears miss (the sound of) your quiet turning of pages, and the gentle chimes of ice colliding with glass in that grapey ocean. My soul misses the wine that you sipped in modest amounts, that bitter royal beverage. the single brackets I put in are lines that don't really add anything. The are redundant. The double brackets suggestions to add. When I say tighten what I mean is make the poem shorter so that every line is forced to extract the maximum poetic value. Bear in mind though that with brevity you sometimes sacrifice clarity.

ah.. ok, now i understand better. Should consider ironing out the wrinkles though, or seeing how you could get your message across in a more clear fashion, but thats up to you. Blessed with 8.

what want refers to what would motivate anyone to want to change a waltz to a march. Kind of old fashioned phraseology. the answer being a selfish want. Rock garden and resevoir are man made, nature harnessed for mans selfish needs. That is why the wind slant on the rocks is out of kilter. In their natural environment the rocks slant would be consistent and indicate where the weathering (like eroding) elements came from. Hope this makes it easier to understand.

cmon now, dawnsons creek? i admit its a its a bit soap opera, but cmon DAWNSONS CREEK? i think ill go shoot myself.. ;/ I dont see how its strange that a tramp is happy and content with his life, ive met tramps like that actually.. they exist, then again your right, its really conflicting with him being poor and begging for money. happy you enjoyed it.

insightful? -shrug- i think you are one of the most stubborn bastards ive ever met.. but whatever, you got the goddamned point, and i can stop hammering it in.. (self note: why??? WHY DO I DO IT?? im a closet masochist perhaps??? bleh.) Thank god you dont actually think your a fatherly figure, otherwise my energy has been used to educate the deaf, blind, and retarded, but unfortunately not mute.. heh. Best possible person you can be.. be yourself. Help others, thats always good.. whats good is also knowing if you can help them, or whether its possible.. anyway, this is where my comment ends, before i ramble like an insect.

I think you're right about my obsession with the "profound". It's a point well taken. But I do think this work makes a significant point about our society's values and norms and our perception of what constitutes happiness and security. Yes it is a relatively simple point but the simple and the profound are not mutually exclusive. In fact the way I see things, the most profound things in our world are, almost without exception, quite simple. I see in your work a continued impulse to expose many the facads and hypocrocies that surround our society. Maybe I'm reading your words too deeply and putting my own spin on them. That's just the way I see it.

made it slightly tighter. about those gaps though, point those out please.

Dreamster, Now you're talking a language I can understand. Much of what you say is absolutely true! For the record, I do not see myself as some fatherly figure. There is a relationship between age and wisdom. But I've met plenty of older people who are the biggest morons in the world and some younger people who are wise far beyond their years. When I was younger I took a hard ass view of the world and wanted to fight everyone. I see the world in a different light now. I really think life is aobut being the best possible person you can be and helping as many people as you can. I do alot of work with young people in the field of athletics and enjoy the hell out of their company. I learn something new from them EVERY DAY. I hope they're learning from me also. I'm not saying my way is the right way. I'm just sharing with you my view of things so you can better understand where I'm coming from. I'm not patronizing you or talking down to you. I respect or talents and now see that you are an extremely insightful kid. Thanks for your comments.

joe.. your really obsessed with this profoundness bullshit.. my poem isnt that profound.. its actually a very simple output.. and its a poem.. free verse.. if your dont agree, tag it as prose, i dont give a shit. btw, read my response i gave you on my trailer park piece.