Terence
on Pretzel by daryash-koh
17 Jul 2003, 7:08 AM
I don't understand this one. Too obscure by far.
The fourth stanza is great, but the poem goes all flabby and loses its shape at the end.
Wow. Great imagery. A well-deserved 9, my boy.
A very mysterious 6 for you, I think.
? listen guys im sorta in a bad mood, feeling abit jaded im sure u've had the feeling..about school, life, and the HSC. But i wasnt expecting someone to go "that was horrible" , aint no confidence boosters to anyone..so yeh sorry if i sound like a bitch i just thought it might make sense even to 1 other person.
I like this, but I don't understand why it's called Pretzel. Nevertheless... I think a bit of bile is good, dactylic or otherwise
Very good. You are making huge strides forward. Keep up the good work. 10
Well thats what it should have been, but apparently not.
lol??
i am amazed
oh my!
short and sweet.
that was horrible? wheres the constructive criticism? jesus how can someones feelings be so 'fucking horrible' an 11 out of what 100? gee dude if u feel that way keep ur opinions out of it. not everyone is pros. i just started writing and i aint making no excuses neither cos i enjoy it and i think thats what poetry is all about, so the bottom line is shut the fuck up, ok?
those ones i understand... they make me moan... then survivalling made me go limp right before i came.. so.. it just didnt turn me on.. ;P
PC is the work of pussy whipped virgins..
lol.. well.. repulsive, slightly amusing and well written.. 7.
Um.. cmon you damned lil pink rodent, you should be improving, not writing the mumbles of a sickened rabbit suffering poetic rejection... 3
:D I made me pencil into a lightsaber??? heh. thanks. ;)
galumphingly good.
excellente.
...
but your use of words such as... the "n word" and others disturbs me greatly. I'm just a repressed politically correct canuck I guess.
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