not too sure what you are trying to say.. but thanks anyway.. ;)

Yeah, I guess.

Well, if you were thinking dactylic then I agree totally with your maintaining of 'the', but the second person ending would be a softer kill and more poignant in my opinion.

How about Saint Aprostate? lol

the rest of us bipolars have no pity for you. you might find some at poetry.nu, though.

I appreciate your interest in this poem and I thank you for taking the time today to fix it for me. I feel compelled to go through them here one by one. In the second line, you remove the second to last word, "the". I'm considering keeping that one. But I like the fact that this line, along with lines 3,5, and 6 end with "the + noun". Plus this poem wasn't meant to be read with rigid scansion. In line 3, you take out the words, "on the" and replace it with "upon". Why yes, just the other day I cracked open a cold brewsky and placed it upon the table. I think I'll keep "on the". I was thinking dactylic when I set these lines down. You shortened line four by taking out the "the" between where and bellies, changing the dactyl. Typo? Line 5 does suck. Reading it now, maybe, Crimp the young shoots and advance by the nose, or Crimp the young shoots that are lead by the nose. Then line 6. You change the time by adding shall, which also breaks the dactyl, plus you change the to "your" which is the only time in the whole poem that the 2nd person is invoked. Actually, I'd be interested to know your take on that last line, because maybe your interpretation was personal. Which is another kind of feedback altogether, and also interesting

If you open up the DSM4 blee blah blow, you'll find that being bi polar and being a manic deppressant are two entirely different things, so you should figure out just what the fuck you are, before you go around selling it door to door. It may aid your quest for empathy, or you could always do a Sylvia Plath and martyr yourself leaving more air for us, and another thing twat, there is no fucking brink to be pushed off of when we are all already falling together, and for every poem of mine you Zero, there are two that will ten it, where as, I tend to enjoy fives the best, making it all very well balanced. Have fun cutting your wrists, and do it with a little dignity, could you? Nobody likes a whiner Margaret, especially a desperate one. So yes, think so.

Better think so... Here's another question, do you come your face or your hair?

I am fond of Don Quixote, not Ron Jeremy.