horus8
on Bitter Breakfast by nugit15
20 May 2003, 10:11 AM
Getting there.
0, and 0 again if I could
oh shit,
Oh God, it really happens! And I thought I was the only one!
Hmmm, follow-through!
Your shit. Bobjim looks like the Shake' compared with this effort. Do you even know what a haiku is?
From a poetic standpoint: tangible(comma)even
drop the (but)last line of s-2. I read this aloud and almost cried. I think this is destined to knock me off.
I'm inspired to do some houscleaning on "tingling".
Every line contains something which is utterly wrong.
:) ....i dont think i need to add to that!
this poem made me want to read your other stuff... i like it....i like it a lot... how convenient that my name also appears in the title! this is my fave of all that i have read so far on the site.... as far as editing it... keep this version in a box somewhere as a reminder of how you made me smile! :)
Like any other friday night in!
Yardbird
replying on If this isn't plagiarism I don't know what is... by Yardbird
20 May 2003, 12:54 AM
Why "<toot>"? It makes no sense, yet it tickles my funny bone no end - BRAVO sir! You have made my week!
Yardbird
replying on If this isn't plagiarism I don't know what is... by Yardbird
20 May 2003, 12:53 AM
It's all bollocks, isn't it...
you are a strange bird. i like your work.
Yes, it is. I use it to swish the flys from my balls that are between my cheeks, and my heart is between your face and Uranus.
A requisition immaculate.
I thank you, and raise a glass of Stella Artois to ya. Cheers.
Yes! Wait... don't tell my sponsor. Sounds like you had to pee on a frozen snowdrift off of the turnpike.
the return of Plasticgirlwithgun?