Dark Angle
on There is a pea in my bed by w~* ATHENA *~w
5 Oct 2002, 1:13 AM
this is cool, it ryhmes a lot and is easy to read
well when you die you will get your #, the line will be very fucking long, and yeah, its a cheap thrill, anything with as much hype as he's been getting is bound to be
inkling? thats a cool word, and katie is a cool name, but you over do itwith wastrel, and respite, thats a little much too. i wont even get started on blithe, come now, please
hmm, will i? who are you to say? i dont think i will so there!!!
aww really strange, too vague and strange for me to comprehend, shit its late, i will just give it a 5, in case it might be good and im just tostupid to seeit
well how bout i tell you who to kill and you do it then! we would make a great team, and then when you tell the cops it wasnt you, you had someone telling you what to do, you couldnt point me out in a line up! damn this is just too perfect!
hmm, this seems pretty pointless, why would you write about it, give it a twist, did you kill anyone? or do drugs? make it interesting to the common man!
religion and government suck, they will end up killing us all, i wish they would go away, nah, i wish i could go away, live on an island, bring some friends, it would be good times, and no government and church to fuck things up, yeah right like that would happen, i would probably just get invaded and some gov or church would try to occupy my utopia, fuck them fuck them all i wish they would die, god, shit, this sucks, not the poem, the situation
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hmmmmm, well any girl that is worth all that effort... probably isnt. dump that bitch and find a nice homely girl that will treat you the way you should be treated
did we, or didnt we? that is the question, whether tis noblier in the mind to sit in a wok on an icy hill or to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune
i used to write like this, then i realized how retarded it is and was was and i got better to be seen without not being and everyone saw how it was with the light of what was and what is and what the fuck am i saying
why dont you die and then i can survey people to see if they care or not! it will be some good empirical data for your ponderance as to whether anyone cares
an exciting journey through the mind of a mad man, reminds me of brad pitts character in tweleve monkies
spose you could have said too many arrows in tow.
7 though. heh
Good Lord... You wouldn't have had to endure a creative writing class at UNB, would you? I like it though. I can't imagine a better piece describing the Seagull.
The AIDS saga continues. encore!
The only word I can think of to describe this poem is "corny". Try adding some imagery. I'm not usually one to stand up and declaim about what poetry is, but this is prose. The two things that this piece has that might make it a poem are the rhymes, and the fact that it is broken up into stanzas. Still, because it is so severely lacking in artistry, I must label it prose. Get yourself a weblog and post this as a diary entry.
Joe sounds like an idiot