poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Ranger (81-100) and replies

Comments byRanger, 81–100 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on A See-Through Prayer by PsydewaysTears 1 Jul 2007, 3:12 AM
I rather like this, although it is pretty much a dictionary of romantic imagery.
on Why Do We Stay? by nypoet22 1 Jul 2007, 3:11 AM
What does Alex think would have happened if Iraq had been left alone?

Good poeme though.
on Summer Festival by Christof 1 Jul 2007, 3:09 AM
If we want to solve third world water shortage, all we need to do is get Somalia to host Glastonbury and Wimbledon.

'Loose-limbed' is a bit cliche.
on Teddy Bear by lexxie100 1 Jul 2007, 3:04 AM
Nothing wrong with this poem, now look to improve your use of meter and imagery. A good book for learning the technical stuff is Stephen Fry's 'The Ode Less Travelled'. You'll be fine.
replying on (Title pending) by INTRANSIT 1 Jul 2007, 3:01 AM
Pinna Cochlea - that ought to be a cocktail.
on Immigrant by Christof 1 Jul 2007, 2:59 AM
Indeed. Meter trips, and I'm not sure I like the abundance of articles in lines 1-3. After that it's good.
on essence of a thought by lmp 22 Jun 2007, 1:14 PM
Good write. I like the rhymes although when you alter the pattern it is maybe a little distracting.
replying on Alcohol by tisa7 22 Jun 2007, 1:05 PM
"...it has got bells on it".
on Fourty Caliber Thirty Pack by drnick 22 Jun 2007, 2:17 AM
A lot of good lines - 'love is most commonly found written on a paper', 'piss out the rust' and others. Not sure about 'corporate feeding tubes', it might work better if it were a little more detached from the social ills. Or that might just be my reading. Good poeme.

Btw, I never got that email, I think the microsoft network might not be all it's cracked up to be :-(
replying on Alcohol by tisa7 22 Jun 2007, 2:10 AM
A good friend of mine got utterly wrecked one night but woke up the next morning feeling fine. Due to the laws of equilibrium, his housemate, who had not touched a drop all night, got the hangover by proxy. True story. Even the god of alcohol seems to enjoy a laugh.
replying on Beslan by Ranger 21 Jun 2007, 5:32 AM
Minor - the children who were shot as they ran.

Coming gloom/crumbling tomb - good call. I'll work on that.
replying on Tropical afternoon by cpill 21 Jun 2007, 5:26 AM
In retrospect, that sounds highly insulting. My apologies, it wasn't meant to be.
on Foie Gras by Christof 21 Jun 2007, 5:23 AM
The best game you can play with telesales is to pretend that you're interested in it as a career and ask them all about their job. See how long you can string them along for before they hang up.

Love the torture of geese. Glorious.
on Better Things by EAger to Offend 21 Jun 2007, 5:18 AM
I personally love a good long slee[.
on husk [hai-crete] by lmp 21 Jun 2007, 5:15 AM
Love the breaking of broken and the flying of the flies. And presumably you're aiming for the breakages, the incompleteness making something whole and concrete?
on Field Work by Christof 21 Jun 2007, 5:13 AM
Marvellous to see you still alive and writing, Mr. C.

This is clearly a poeme about doing something naughty.
on F Log-On by Skamper 21 Jun 2007, 5:12 AM
What exactly are you F-Logging?

Make line 3 straight iambs ('fire into the midst') and perhaps the 'rolled sweated and panted' line wants rhythmic tweaking. Dovina's right about the rap-ness of this.

Good poeme.
on The One I Threw Back by drnick 21 Jun 2007, 5:09 AM
Aside from 'I found God inside her face' I rather like this.
on The wait by aliena 21 Jun 2007, 5:07 AM
The voices in my head are crying 'image! image!' Perhaps play around with the sound of 'poetry' and make it sound like 'pottery' - something being wiped off clay. I'd like that.
on I Am A Reality by Skamper 21 Jun 2007, 5:03 AM
I'd agree with Imp, this is lyrical. But less rap, less Bjork and more Emiliana Torrini.