Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik	6-Mar-03/12:29 PM
Only mistake here is 'wet' should be 'whet' I think. Otherwise very good indeed, but I would personally like a stronger image built. Still, a nice haiku. 8
Re: a comment on His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	2-Mar-03/8:06 AM
I know this might sound strange, but I agree with you on this. I have stopped attempting to rhyme because a) I'm not very good at anything more than the basics of it, and b) I find that it restricts what I can and can't write about. I think that what people have missed for the two long ones (Am I still here and Epistemology) is that they are meant to be light hearted poems that don't stick to the subject of love and death that I find so many people write about all the time-I do a lot but most of my stuff's crap so I don't submit it. I was surprised at this one cause it seemed quite good and I like it. But yes, I do see what you're saying. Thanks for the comment.
Re: Death Of Day ( re-edit) by Mr Pig	1-Mar-03/3:28 AM
Possibly 'Silver assassin struck' for the last line, it seems to work and would take the syllables down to 17? I really like your haikus, you have much ability with images. 9
Re: Revelation ( 666 ) by Mr Pig	1-Mar-03/3:20 AM
Nice. It's difficult to give advice on something as short as a haiku, especially when it's as good as this, so I'll limit myself to just saying "Nice".
Re: a comment on His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	1-Mar-03/3:13 AM
Oh, and what do you think to my edit of 'fraction of a cricket's song'? I'm still not sure about it, what I want is something short and beautiful. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be grateful to hear them.
Re: a comment on His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	1-Mar-03/3:08 AM
Thank'ee kindly, sir. You are spot on there, what you said is what I've been trying to get right-I will keep editing until I get this one right. Thanks also, Bachus. A good morrow to yourself, also, sir.
Re: On coming across a field of deer one afternoon by <~>	27-Feb-03/2:56 PM
I love most of this but I'm confused by the last line of the 4th stanza. Witness to their what? Or have I missed something. I think I'll come back to this soon. I would also be grateful if you could tell me what you think of my latest efforts.
Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage	27-Feb-03/2:53 PM
Love the name, by the way.
Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage	27-Feb-03/2:53 PM
Wow. Image of a man with a metal pipe through his head...ouch. Why does this poem seem so damn good?
Re: 9/11/01 by Jarah	27-Feb-03/2:48 PM
The big problem here is the subject matter. As soon as anyone on this site sees a poem about 9/11 they'll instantly laugh, mainly because most efforts to write about it have been shite. Being pedantic, I personally hate seeing "must of" or "would of" or anywhere in which 'of' is substituted for 'have'. But that's just me. I wrote a poem about 9/11 but it takes a slightly different stance. Maybe I'll submit it.
Re: The Blooding by Mr Pig	27-Feb-03/2:40 PM
Glorious. Possibly put an extra 'remember' into the last five lines just for emphasis? Although I don't know whether that would perhaps upset the balance of the poem. 8
Re: a comment on His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	27-Feb-03/2:29 PM
Thanks for the advice, I wasn't too sure about using the word myself.
Re: Moo Gai Pai lover (dedicated to Settle) by Sylvia Bravo	20-Feb-03/12:07 PM
On the plus side, you've now got two comments for your effort.
Re: Weekend at the Taj by <~>	20-Feb-03/12:02 PM
Enjoyable, to say the least. Does a villanelle have any particular syllable structure or rhythm or anything?
Re: Synchronicity (Senryu) by bunniesnangels	18-Feb-03/11:35 AM
Intriguing... a fabulous collection of haikus.
Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT	18-Feb-03/11:31 AM
Good stuff
Re: with no words to write (v2) by nentwined	18-Feb-03/11:30 AM
Fair enough
Re: Beggar's Indulgence by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	17-Feb-03/12:19 PM
Perfect, again.
Re: she said by Bill Z Bub	17-Feb-03/12:12 PM
Wonderful. 8
Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub	17-Feb-03/12:10 PM
I like the edit except for st. 6. I gave you a ten last time and stanza 3 more than equals that.