on How I fuck Freud off in the shower by horus8
13 Jun 2003, 10:43 AM
I laughed when i read 11
on The truths of war by DeadtotheWorld
19 Jun 2003, 10:09 AM
language perhaps loses its own power as it is phrased in 'anarchy movement' terms.
I think the best types of these poems are perhaps a bit more subversive
I think the best types of these poems are perhaps a bit more subversive
on some deleted poem
18 Jun 2003, 12:59 PM
sweet light and enjoyable
on A meeting at Maverick, then dinner. by <{Baba^Yaga}>
18 Jun 2003, 12:57 PM
i didn't read the content
the rhyme and random words i read were quite good though
and i like the spirit of haiku
the rhyme and random words i read were quite good though
and i like the spirit of haiku
on It's funny by Dangzter
17 Jun 2003, 11:10 AM
a fairly standard structure but i enjoyes this
try to lose mentioning a 50 yr old man twice
try to lose mentioning a 50 yr old man twice
on The Contract (2nd draft) by scitz
17 Jun 2003, 10:45 AM
a couple of nice beat esque bits
'like we believe in a politician' and asterisk....
the end doesn't need to be so definitive though
'like we believe in a politician' and asterisk....
the end doesn't need to be so definitive though
on The Bastard Earth by Kitch
17 Jun 2003, 10:51 AM
a bit didactic and part of the end verse was far too 'ricki lake'
but some good parts second verse is thought provoking but perhaps a bit clumsy
but some good parts second verse is thought provoking but perhaps a bit clumsy
on Lycanthropes and L-dopamine by horus8
17 Jun 2003, 10:54 AM
lycanthropic being wierwolf
i'm glad i realised
i'm glad i realised
I guess you've rubbed someone up the wrong way the sheer number of zeros you get is quite impressive
I do think these poems need a lot more personal thought and insight though they seem a bit assinine
and the statements seem unqualified
I got loads of bad marks when i first came on here. I guess you have to read the work of your audience and learn some lessons from it
Then if you get good you can do your own thing again a nd be pretentious like a proper artist!
I do think these poems need a lot more personal thought and insight though they seem a bit assinine
and the statements seem unqualified
I got loads of bad marks when i first came on here. I guess you have to read the work of your audience and learn some lessons from it
Then if you get good you can do your own thing again a nd be pretentious like a proper artist!
on Sittin Here by psikosis
14 Jun 2003, 10:42 AM
No, this is too obvious the rhyme/ the sentiment
Try get to the root of the feeling and its relation to other things
Try get to the root of the feeling and its relation to other things
on One Night Stand by Audaciouslilgrl
14 Jun 2003, 10:48 AM
I do feel this a bit
but it is rather ordinary
good try though
but it is rather ordinary
good try though
on some deleted poem
13 Jun 2003, 10:35 AM
i like the last verse best
on Goddess of the vineyard by INTRANSIT
13 Jun 2003, 10:41 AM
yes nice logic/ flow
a bit in the spirit of an extended haiku
a bit in the spirit of an extended haiku
on In (ghazal) by INTRANSIT
14 Jun 2003, 10:40 AM
Interesting to us something modern and consumer as a truck to illustrate 'the beauty of the all'
I think the snappy sentences work well and fit together there is nothing too obvious to make me cringe here
a pleasant read
I think the snappy sentences work well and fit together there is nothing too obvious to make me cringe here
a pleasant read
on once again by John by <{Baba^Yaga}>
14 Jun 2003, 10:45 AM
I dont understand your motivation for writing this.
on Coloured waifs home by horus8
12 Jun 2003, 10:41 AM
yes a good haiku wistful is a word everyone seems to use. I think it apt
on Air sickness bag by Shardik
17 Jun 2003, 10:52 AM
cute
on To What Ends by daniella
19 Jun 2003, 10:06 AM
this flows very well, like a story really