poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Robert K Foster (41-60)

Comments byRobert K Foster, 41–60 back. Include replies

on This guy by Jai 11 Jun 2003, 4:05 PM
it should be "you're" a contraction for "you are" not "your" which is a possessive pronoun.
after that, try some more substance, more specific details, images, etc.
click on "best" at the top and read through those. you can learn a lot here.
on Daddy's Girl by LosT SykoPath 11 Jun 2003, 3:49 PM
A nice father's day poem. however, not a haiku. you have about 195 too many syllables.
on -none by LosT SykoPath 11 Jun 2003, 3:52 PM
what is "unbareab"?
cliche:"like a gunshot"

A lovely poem about a middle aged man with scissors. is it modeled after Boo Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird?
on Dream Girl by LosT SykoPath 11 Jun 2003, 3:54 PM
Rather weak and stolid.
on Im Sorry by LosT SykoPath 11 Jun 2003, 3:55 PM
The line that captivated me was "with you, you dont know jack". It's just so pure.
on The rock star and the ATM by Shardik 11 Jun 2003, 3:56 PM
3rd line's a bit lacking. you had the opportunity for some punch, but you slightly missed it (not to mention syllables)
on 5 minutes by Jai 11 Jun 2003, 3:58 PM
It reminds me of an eminem song, only without the line breaks.
on He says by Jai 11 Jun 2003, 4:00 PM
weak. it is screaming "teenager" and is so full of extra words and so lacking in images, freshness, or poetry.
on The first time by Jai 11 Jun 2003, 4:02 PM
I was. thanks for spoiling it. the ambiguity has ruined the excitement. one word for you:
STOLID. look it up.
on The Kiss by anastomosis 11 Jun 2003, 4:06 PM
nice jop. I like this.
on SETTLE (as seen walking away) by Shardik 11 Jun 2003, 4:09 PM
Glad I bought the double roll of toilet paper.
on Opera by ~incarnate~ 11 Jun 2003, 5:00 AM
7
7
7
too bad its not a slot machine.
on Abortion by horus8 11 Jun 2003, 5:01 AM
I am confused, especially by the title. too much of a mystery for me on this one.
on To those who'd share their heartfelt feelings with the world by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11 Jun 2003, 5:02 AM
truth. Love it. 10
on Loss I havn't yet known by cleverdevice 11 Jun 2003, 5:24 AM
haven't
on 5 by Crakyamuni 11 Jun 2003, 5:25 AM
sing-song
on Layne Staley's Sunglasses by Jeremi B. Handrinos 11 Jun 2003, 5:29 AM
Yu should almost never use the word "just". it is seldom necessary and it musddies up meaning bu softening the impact of your verb. perhaps "to" would be an apt replacement.
on Ouch by heroditus 10 Jun 2003, 9:51 AM
lose the commas.
on Mirror to Mirror by Roisin 11 Jun 2003, 4:41 AM
I like this very much, save the cliche' in the last line. you have talent. a solid 9.
on Say Hello by Sawa 11 Jun 2003, 6:41 AM
I don't get the title.