on I don't usually write erotica and this is no exception by Edna Sweetlove
25 Jul 2006, 4:04 AM
Love that lovejam refrence.
on Ode to the Irish Pub by mindsigns
25 Jul 2006, 4:01 AM
The Irish are the most overrated bunch of cunts in the whole world. The U.S. has two causes as far as I can see the Jews and the Irish. Both are a bunch of selfish fuckwits with a persecution complex. Both are money grabbing but the Irish have the differentiator of being alcoholic pikeys who make their money by building road whilst the Jews are better at building walls.
I absolutely detest any lionisation of a romantic Ireland that quite honestly doesn't exist. The Irish are a bloated bunch of uncultured pisshead estate agents trying to turn Ireland into a gigantic mass of concrete. If James Joyce were in Dublin today he would not recognise it as the Irish try, in a distinctly pikey manner, to instil a class system and copy the Yuppie habits of their more successful, talented neighbours the Welsh.
replying on A Time to Dance by Dovina
25 Jul 2006, 3:34 AM
slag
on Aristocrats(Madlib for all those shock poets) by ALChemy
5 Jul 2006, 4:10 AM
The aristocrat format is rubbish. It is essentially:
A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned." The man says, "But, this is really special." The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"
He replies," Well my wife and I start fisting eachother. Meanwhile by son brings out our pet pregnant alsatian and induces the birth of her zygots by forcing his hand up her arse.
My son then brings the embryonic alsatians and coaxes them into his Mother's vagina and she sqirms as the embryos wiggle in her clowns sleeve of a snatch. At this point my son pulls down his pants and arcs a rope of cum across my mouth which I gulp down. Once he's finished I bite off his cock and spit it up his arse.
As a grand finale I take out grandma's glass eye and my son shits out his cock into her skull. She catches septicimia and we root her lifeless corpse with the dead alsatians head. All this time my wife is reading aloud the painfully self-obsessed poetry of Dovina whilst slicing the skin off my buttocks."
The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"
"The Aristocrats!" The man replies.
A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned." The man says, "But, this is really special." The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"
He replies," Well my wife and I start fisting eachother. Meanwhile by son brings out our pet pregnant alsatian and induces the birth of her zygots by forcing his hand up her arse.
My son then brings the embryonic alsatians and coaxes them into his Mother's vagina and she sqirms as the embryos wiggle in her clowns sleeve of a snatch. At this point my son pulls down his pants and arcs a rope of cum across my mouth which I gulp down. Once he's finished I bite off his cock and spit it up his arse.
As a grand finale I take out grandma's glass eye and my son shits out his cock into her skull. She catches septicimia and we root her lifeless corpse with the dead alsatians head. All this time my wife is reading aloud the painfully self-obsessed poetry of Dovina whilst slicing the skin off my buttocks."
The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"
"The Aristocrats!" The man replies.
replying on Aristocrats(Madlib for all those shock poets) by ALChemy
5 Jul 2006, 3:59 AM
Dovina,
That is so rubbish.
Yours,
A foul bag of rotten air.
That is so rubbish.
Yours,
A foul bag of rotten air.
replying on How to Bleed by MacFrantic
3 Jul 2006, 3:37 AM
I am not an accountant. I can prove this. I have a sun tan, I have a finely tailored suit - not of the machine washable variety - my shirts do not have pockets and my cuffs are double at the wrist rather than cut off at the elbow. I do not find auditing whether a company has as many paperclips as it states in its accounts even remotely horny. I have never paid for sex, usually because I am too pissed by that stage to do anything but wet myself. The only 360 degree appraisal I have ever conducted has been in a mirror whilst rubbing my colossal manhood. I do, however, find the new regulations surrounding corporate governance and the role of accountants and their consulting services so exciting that I arc ropes of cum over my belly a bit like spiderman throwing a cobweb.
replying on COCK by Stephen Robins
3 Jul 2006, 3:21 AM
Thanks.
on How to Bleed by MacFrantic
30 Jun 2006, 7:33 AM
A giant globule of spittle or the moist lips of an accountant attending an course on the new Sarbane-Oxley Rules.
replying on A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta
30 Jun 2006, 7:15 AM
yuck.
replying on COCK by Stephen Robins
30 Jun 2006, 2:34 AM
What the hell or you one about you visually impaired mess. If we are to enter into a frank exchange of views I would have to remark that your poetry suffocates the essence of being alive and replaces it with the smell of rotting flesh. It is better to have withered than to still be stretching your skin, especially in the vacinity of your corpulent thighs.
replying on Rapid Eye Movement by wilco
19 May 2006, 8:08 AM
That is an appalling idea, you dicksplat>
on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina
19 May 2006, 8:03 AM
like a germ laden hanky deposited NEXT to a bin.
on Descartes' Immortal Truth by Edna Sweetlove
19 May 2006, 8:02 AM
I like the way you voted for yourslf but to give it authenticity you voted 8 rather than 10. However, for a proper spasm of reality why not give it a proper vote of -3-!
I arc a rope of cum in your eye and lauch as you wince.
I arc a rope of cum in your eye and lauch as you wince.
replying on The Queen Mum - A Tribute by Edna Sweetlove
19 May 2006, 7:59 AM
What about the Queen? are you the kind of cad who wouldn't stifle a fart in her presence. You utter, utter abortion.
replying on Peeping Through The Window by Edna Sweetlove
19 May 2006, 7:58 AM
You are a cerebral cripple.
replying on Fraser's Wedding by Stephen Robins
28 Apr 2006, 8:26 AM
Thanks for the feedback, I was feeling fairly dispirited after God's wife had a bad case of PMT and started calling me a dill.
replying on Fraser's Wedding by Stephen Robins
25 Apr 2006, 8:15 AM
It was pretty good; there were the usual English roses out of their head on smack trying to avoid the leering advances of the corpulent godparents of the groom whilst their other halves tried to revive their faded youth by dancing like they were searching for an ASBO to the Pet Shop Boys.
on Skellington Bakery by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
18 Apr 2006, 9:08 AM
This is a woeful departure from the standard -=D_A=- pump. This, I suspect, is written by someone trying to ingratiate themselves into the Rutherford Club, only to be found wearing no spats.
on Old River Sherbourne by Caducus
12 Apr 2006, 5:56 AM
Bluebells flower in Spring you dick.
America is quite the most detestable country in the whole world.