on some deleted poem
27 Nov 2002, 6:21 AM
nicely done. the thought is complete as it stands.
on some deleted poem
28 Nov 2002, 11:59 PM
tender.
on late night activities by sooz
28 Nov 2002, 11:09 PM
now why didn't your army of anonimi vote this one up the ladder?
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2002, 8:45 AM
this one's stuck in my craw. i'll be back.
on ode to zzinnia by daniella
28 Nov 2002, 11:07 PM
what's a girl to say?
well, i'd like to thank p&k and horus8, for keeping it real, and -=Dark_Angel=-, for keeping it fake, and INTRANSIT, for hanging in there, and let's not forget christof, off in the wilds down south, we still love you, man...and frass, where the hell'd you go?, and the dearly departed mrs.g--it's just not the same without you babe...and the ever-changing but always constant doylum, my fav pervert on the site... i couldn't have done it without all of you...and to kiki, for all that peperoni...
oh yeah, and all you canadians out there--you know who you are!
<sniff> <sniff>
well, i'd like to thank p&k and horus8, for keeping it real, and -=Dark_Angel=-, for keeping it fake, and INTRANSIT, for hanging in there, and let's not forget christof, off in the wilds down south, we still love you, man...and frass, where the hell'd you go?, and the dearly departed mrs.g--it's just not the same without you babe...and the ever-changing but always constant doylum, my fav pervert on the site... i couldn't have done it without all of you...and to kiki, for all that peperoni...
oh yeah, and all you canadians out there--you know who you are!
<sniff> <sniff>
on No One Cares by Quarton
28 Nov 2002, 11:10 PM
damn straight. 8
this has promise, but you use the words without fully understanding them, and you also lose the rhythm in several places. you have subbed it several times, i see, so i know you are really interested in getting it seen... consider these things...the preciseness of meaning, and the flow. this will be much better with a little work.
on The Yule tide log by ==Doylum
29 Nov 2002, 12:00 AM
oh speedy d, glad to see you haven't lost your subtle touch. have a 3, with love from my mom
on falling by Aggreddion
27 Nov 2002, 6:40 AM
i don't think you need 'falling' twice, but i like it at the end. maybe a different title? also, maybe something other than 'deeper' twice? or make it a third, so the repetition is intentional? nice. spare. effective. have a 7 for starters.
on ode to horus by daniella
26 Nov 2002, 8:24 PM
not my slice, i hope. you did save one for me, didn't you dearie? with pepperoni?
on Wallet Burn by New Life Drug
26 Nov 2002, 8:27 PM
erasing them won't do any good if i have the numbers.then you'll feel the burn.
did i ever tell you guys about the nice irish boy who got naked and forgot his wallet in my back seat? so i sent his wife porn on his amex, with love from me? no? too bad. it was a funny story. buy me a beer sometime, and i'll even tell you about the crackwhore i saved him from.
did i ever tell you guys about the nice irish boy who got naked and forgot his wallet in my back seat? so i sent his wife porn on his amex, with love from me? no? too bad. it was a funny story. buy me a beer sometime, and i'll even tell you about the crackwhore i saved him from.
on Pleas Dont.. by MysticalRaven88
26 Nov 2002, 8:30 PM
ah, melinda. invest in black. you'll wear it well.
on Shipwrecked... by LovingWhispers
26 Nov 2002, 8:31 PM
appealing in its barreness. but un new. so? an 8 because i am a sucker for a love poem, even if it feels like self help. you watch oprah, dontcha?
on some deleted poem
28 Nov 2002, 11:27 PM
why don't you write in plain english? writing using this shorthand doesn't seem to be adding anything to your message. am i missing something?
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2002, 8:07 AM
i might argue that it's released from the center, and not the soul, but that would ruin the count. i like the spirit of it.
on He Is.... by LovingWhispers
26 Nov 2002, 8:32 PM
no.
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2002, 8:14 AM
cool.