on Mendacity by kiki
28 Oct 2002, 7:34 PM
not kiki freve, by chance?
on i'm the jesse james of the seven-eleven chain by Bachus
30 Oct 2002, 7:02 AM
yee-haw.
on Another Tragic Love Poem by greym0on
30 Oct 2002, 6:53 AM
whatever did you so foolishly do? well, it does not matter. you have ripped a new tear in my heavily-scarred heart. curse you.
on Jackanapes and smoke buttons by Bachus
30 Oct 2002, 7:05 AM
you were cleary not a good fit, jack. this is a painful read; you are getting closer. put down that kale gun, wouldja? the thing makes me nervous. here, have a canape, i mean, 10.
on Hve you ever..... v2 by INTRANSIT
29 Oct 2002, 12:12 PM
is this the one you thought was better?
on Hve you ever..... v2 by INTRANSIT
29 Oct 2002, 12:25 PM
the problem with this one is that it tells. i have no issue with a good bitch session now and again, and you've certainly earned one, but this one comes across as a litany of complaints about soul-shattering vignettes that are written off as unimportant. it spells everything out. it says, 'do i *have* to' or 'when are we going to *be* there'? it's whiny when you want it to be lonely. that's my take.
on Worth the wait by INTRANSIT
29 Oct 2002, 4:35 AM
ah. yes. so it always is.
on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2002, 12:43 PM
and, 'mongst the community, there was a feast in honor of his crossing over. 'twas a sad feast, and there was much crying and gnashing of teeth. no white wine was served, not even with the fish. only blood-red-wine, and bitter, bitter tears...
on boy girl by little_angel_maria
28 Oct 2002, 1:23 PM
maria, this is so far beyond the other stuff you have posted in quality as to be unreal. lose the 'scoots.' though. other than that, this is great. you conveyed a vivd picture of a moment succintly. nice job.
on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2002, 12:10 PM
his eyeliner smeared black across the turquiose tiles of his demise.
on Missing You by psychedelic
28 Oct 2002, 7:20 AM
the last line disappoints. the first 2 are setting us up...take us somewhere.
on some deleted poem
23 Oct 2002, 1:44 PM
are you trying to garner the top 3 worst spots?
if i were -=Dark_Angel=-, i'd be shakin' in my boots right now.
if i were -=Dark_Angel=-, i'd be shakin' in my boots right now.
on some deleted poem
23 Oct 2002, 7:55 AM
all the 'the's and 'is's and '.'s make this very staccato. which is fine. but not like i want it to be. i want it to swagger, and i want bony hips out over tops of jeans seducing me with there lean swayings. you can do it. i think that's what you meant to do with this hard-edged slice. so, do it.
on some deleted poem
23 Oct 2002, 1:20 PM
and this was necessary because...?
on one man opponent by chinstrap
23 Oct 2002, 8:00 AM
bitter to the last drop. delicious indigestion. lose the !
on some deleted poem
23 Oct 2002, 8:08 AM
i love you for that, tint
on "turd to yo mutha" daywalker shittalker by Bachus
23 Oct 2002, 8:19 AM
i'm reading ulysses, but that doesn't in any way impair my appreciation of this slam. damn.