on alms by famenglory
26 Jan 2003, 7:24 AM
cute. 7.
on mornings, january by <~>
26 Jan 2003, 8:21 AM
I like how the third line sets scale when none was there before. :)
on the play by famenglory
26 Jan 2003, 7:21 AM
could use some serious work on delivery, I think. it's cute, but it doesn't flow, and that loses it for me. 4
on Forgotten by famenglory
26 Jan 2003, 7:22 AM
ugh. 2
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 7:26 AM
I think you could have actually done something with this, though I'm not sure what. Definitely not this, though.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 7:29 AM
I think this is the closest to grasping at least some dignity in itself. There are a few spots where the cadence drops.
I recommend dropping "back" from the first "back then" and "church" from "church Christmas". The second "again" strikes a painful cord with the first one. some two syllables would do well to replace "back again".
6. 7 with changes, I think.
I recommend dropping "back" from the first "back then" and "church" from "church Christmas". The second "again" strikes a painful cord with the first one. some two syllables would do well to replace "back again".
6. 7 with changes, I think.
on The Ode that never was by Shardik
26 Jan 2003, 8:20 AM
nicely done, for what it is. :) the only bit o' weakness I felt be the toad, and 'm not quite sure what.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 8:25 AM
the rhythm really doesn't do it for me. I stumble all over the place, unexpectedly.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 8:26 AM
ehhhhhh.
patient.
and keep practicing.
patient.
and keep practicing.
on Perfect by wordontheverge
26 Jan 2003, 8:27 AM
revist?
not a fan of this style.
not a fan of this style.
on Why my cock attracts idiots by horus8
26 Jan 2003, 8:31 AM
lol! asl! I am a mockery of mocking myself mocking mockery? 7.
on Jesus was the Antichrist by TheDevil
26 Jan 2003, 11:56 AM
eh. not horribly amusing.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 11:57 AM
good words, but I couldn't really stick to it.
on Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet
26 Jan 2003, 12:00 PM
I wasn't sure where it was going, but I like where it ended. The middle was... eh. but good for the contrast, I suppose.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 12:01 PM
didn't do it for me.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 8:23 AM
whew.
on some deleted poem
26 Jan 2003, 8:24 AM
shy slowly she skulls... sulks? skulls?
on Jeremi and my cat oh and Elton by w~* ATHENA *~w
26 Jan 2003, 7:30 AM
I'm with JC on this one. ish.
on Stars of the sky by GTK
26 Jan 2003, 11:56 AM
ow.