poemranker ::20 most recent comments by nentwined (801-820) and replies

Comments bynentwined, 801–820 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on Living Conditions by Christof 25 Oct 2002, 2:44 PM
very nice. :)
replying on dream dream dream dream dream by nentwined 25 Oct 2002, 2:40 PM
I... was heading to bed after being way too tired, and had a poem run through my head. I got up to write it down, and lost it, and this was the best I could do to justify having gotten up.

But the second line would translate "I dream of talking as more than just to myself" if that helps any.
on Losing Control by Tarquin De La Bog 9 Oct 2002, 9:12 PM
"has now gone" and "before too long" scan better without the "now" or "too".

I think instead of "they'll be no more fighting" "there'll [...]"?

I think "try and sue" would work better as "try to sue" -- more proper and as such fitting the tone of the teacher, even if you're trying to let (him?) degenerate. All in all, a beautiful piece. :)
replying on Losing Control by Tarquin De La Bog 9 Oct 2002, 9:11 PM
I presume devina's just trolling. best to ignore? I *hope* (she?)'s not serious.
replying on can't by nentwined 7 Oct 2002, 4:13 PM
i was just noticing that weirdness and I have a guess -- I think that the loophole is to post new ones and then EDIT old ones after you reach your limit. I need to figure out how to deal with that.
replying on can't by nentwined 7 Oct 2002, 5:39 AM
It's a constant battle with the sleep monster, though this week I'm not using any "artificial" stimulants. Just me and my willpower and whatever unnatural chemistry I may have been blessed or cursed with (or whatever I can trick myself into believing). the writer's block is a bit worse than a little, unfortunately -- inspiration has left me high and dry for half a year. I'm sending in the cavalry of "keep trying and maybe something will work". Glad you're enjoying PR. =)
on The day I told her by dalva 7 Oct 2002, 12:31 AM
this reads purely as prose, and is rather cliche.
replying on Birth by nentwined 2 Oct 2002, 2:05 PM
those are from a time before votes were only anonymous, and I did no stuffing. Someone else may have stuffed them -- they're also from a time before ip limiting, before ip listing...

:shrug:

I suppose explosions have been overdone..? :) I'll contemplate.
replying on always the end to this good night by nentwined 1 Oct 2002, 11:26 AM
ooh, that sounds like a good barrel of fun, all you left out were the monkeys (maybe those are the folks rolling it up to my door?)

hammer down? I think at this point I need to keep making sure the right down is still closede and that the lines I'm following are the ones painted on the road.
on Cheap Thrills by Owner of the Sky 1 Oct 2002, 5:12 AM
this comes across a little too simply for my tastes. i see where pnk's complaining about the show-don't tell.

However, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the intent, making a cheap thrill out of this poem entitled cheap thrill about a cheap thrill.

Which would elevate it some -- a really good cheap thrill.
replying on always the end to this good night by nentwined 1 Oct 2002, 12:33 AM
where? hmm. I've been wholly uncreative is all, woefully inadequate to any task beyond the methodical. (sorry, this, that, er, too much! -- this is a wholly and willfully self-induced bout of insomnia to work on one project that needed working on with whole-hearted abandon... which I am mostly doing. But a side effect of this "insomnia" is that in this waking period I've written FIVE poems (four amusingly doggerel haiku, and this oddly interesting piece, all of course centered around sleep deprivation and the like)... and I'm actually writing a piece of fiction for a contest (due half an hour ago, but since I"m the one who posts them.... la la la). anyway, I need to apologize for the hirsute prose... it's the nature of the character I'm writing as and I'm a bit stuck. la. I guess that's all?
replying on always the end to this good night by nentwined 30 Sep 2002, 6:57 PM
dude it is. Umm. Working on a project. :) Working mad hardcode on a project, trying to do it as "right" as I can without not doing it (the perfect void?). At... 31 hours. Not so bad, really. I'm debating going another 24. :)
on The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog 30 Sep 2002, 3:55 PM
The c is sharp
and for that we must thank
microsoft.
I am NOT A NUMBER! I am a... uh...
on Tide by <~> 30 Sep 2002, 3:49 PM
this keeps me tottering on the edge of each line until the end -- a very nice feeling, especially on caffeine. :)
replying on always the end to this good night by nentwined 30 Sep 2002, 3:42 PM
:bounces happily: I wrote something that doesn't necessarily suck. :) :eagerly awaits more votes:

it's been so long since I posted something other than a crapshot haiku. :) being delirious really helps.
on Sight by monotype 30 Sep 2002, 2:26 PM
beautiful.
replying on the room's a'spinnin' by nentwined 30 Sep 2002, 2:21 PM
My pleasure, and thanks for thankin'. Graham Parker -- but honestly I had no clue; google is my savior. :) nice lyrics. I don't think my haiku does them justice, but ah trah. I think this one is running to beat DA out of the bottom list, though.
replying on the room's a'spinnin' by nentwined 30 Sep 2002, 12:25 PM
Hmm. just tossed the poem above the comment on the "reply to comment" page. That should make life a little easier. :) hmm.

more impact... "damn shit fuckin' cunt"? doesn't quite work. probably too delirious to think much about it at the moment. :)

"dawn has passed me by"

"sleep's for the, huh?"

"insert impact here"

"a bloody chainsaw"

"five sa-lyll-a-bles"
replying on First, you gotta bend over.. by Bachus 25 Sep 2002, 12:31 AM
I'm afraid I didn't. 29,000 people there this year (estimated). website could be cool. :)
replying on Spanish fLie by flatliner 23 Sep 2002, 8:35 PM
here, you now have as much spanish as me: http://babelfish.altavista.com :) [and german and a whole host of other languages...]