on ghost of one by crin
11 Aug 2002, 7:08 PM
one is always dying unless they're dead.
on Fire (a haiku series) by eviltwin
11 Aug 2002, 7:06 PM
I like the progression. I think historically haiku were supposed to be twinned with renga's to do something like this. (or something like that -- what do I know? :) I do like this.
on Pi by feelinglistless
10 Aug 2002, 12:32 PM
hm.. I want a little more out of this story (story; I don't see any poem about this other than the linebreaks every couple of words).
on Hands. by LucidRevelation
9 Aug 2002, 12:06 AM
that's some intense child porn you've got there. fairly well written, but... is that really what you were going for?
on The Seasons, Changes by Frass
8 Aug 2002, 11:57 PM
I think I like what you're trying to say, but I'm not sure exactly what it is (if anything). ... ... too confusing.
on kauri by itchiwitch
8 Aug 2002, 11:56 PM
Hmm. kauri sounds like it could be a tree. I don't know what else it would be, but from this it sounds very treelike. which makes the haiku essentially pointless. so I'll presume it's not a tree...? ... google search. nope, it's a tree. maybe I'm missing something else?
on Quincy Eye by albellisimo
8 Aug 2002, 11:54 PM
whafu?
on My ode to "the artist" by Agemo-Z
5 Aug 2002, 11:02 AM
re: DA. :rofl: You're right, Prince Arthas really is a dweeb. But I do like my death coil.
as for this poem... hmm. weird. sorry, can't say much else.
as for this poem... hmm. weird. sorry, can't say much else.
on recent submissions by <~>
3 Aug 2002, 1:41 PM
beautiful. =)
on for Violet Jean by jay_dace
31 Jul 2002, 2:19 PM
no comma after "to which".
the first bit is cute. the second bit really doesn't help the poem, I think. I also think this could be better expressed. I don't find myself drawn in.
the first bit is cute. the second bit really doesn't help the poem, I think. I also think this could be better expressed. I don't find myself drawn in.
on Porn by New Life Drug
31 Jul 2002, 2:17 PM
what does this have to do with porn? your grammar/spelling could use some touching up, but it seems like you're well into the world of teen angst.
on The Spankbox by Garrett S Sexton
31 Jul 2002, 4:46 AM
good flow. umm. I don't get "slaven". and "pain they devise" feels like one syllable too many. and I really don't get the hell what you're saying, if you are saying anything...
on Chuds in the mall by razorgrin
31 Jul 2002, 4:45 AM
this is really funny. :)
on Tate Street 1956 by wunboi
31 Jul 2002, 4:41 AM
this is rather sweet; I like the mood and the flow. I don't get why you call it a concrete poem, though -- don't see what you're getting at, there.
on Within A World by forestchild7
31 Jul 2002, 4:29 AM
the flow feels off for me; it would feel much more immediate, for instance, if "streaming past me in little patches of gold" read as "streaming past in patches of gold". (and so on...)
a nice message, but I couldn't get into it as a poem.
a nice message, but I couldn't get into it as a poem.
on you're never alone by nentwined
30 Jul 2002, 10:54 PM
to horus -- uh, hrm? or is that payback for the poem?
on you're never alone by nentwined
30 Jul 2002, 10:53 PM
to settle -- yes, actually, I do. :)
on Note 2 Myself by Jigg
29 Jul 2002, 4:50 PM
this ain't no ode, but I still find it hilarious. :)