I once wrote a better poem than this by tossing a sack full of letters out into the market place and asking a passing monkey to transcribe them using his typewriter.

This is the best poem about a pipecleaner I have ever seen. I especially like the way you use "inner thighs" to represent the main chute of the pipe, and the burning coffee for the tobacco.

I bet this doesn't even mean anything.

I especially find the last verse very moving.

Here is a translation for anyone not so well versed in Russian as I:

Wodka - Chicken Kiev,
Gorbachev has a stupid looking head,
The Duma - a provisional government.

Bolsheviks and Mensheviks,
The October revolution,
Rasputin was an invincible monk,
Tatar sauce is nice.

Exiled to Siberia,
All hail Tsar Nicholas II,
The Kremlin, Trotsky, Mafia, Red Square.

Alright then -
Send him on the next flight back to Russia,
In the diplomatic baaaagg!!!

Obviously it loses something in the translation.

What a coincidence that you are the only person in the world who has realised that everyone else in the entire world is really stupid.

I expect you must be some sort of free-spirit.

I think drug abuse is a very suitable topic to be expressed in poem format. I think more people should become addicted to drugs so they can write overly-cryptic poetry about how interesting/depressing it is.

How did you get to be a poemwanker? It must have happened withing the last week and a half going by the email address in the red box. Tell me now. I can't be bothered to email you. Was it for inappropriate elevation of Christian baked goods?

This poem is nowhere near as excellent as the title would suggest.

Doesn't the fourth line have one too many syllables? Apart from that, a modern masterpiece.

You are a primal dunce. And no returns.

You have neglected to mention the following important philosophical figures:

a)Joseph Smith
b)Aristotle
c)Shang Tsung

Aren't there about a million poems about standing on cliff edges?

Have you ever even read Oliver Twist?

SHIT MAN!!!

This is the shit. I've just done an ounce of Horlicks and three hob-nobs, and this just like blew my mind. I was like fucking spewing and stuff and chortling so much that my head literally exploded.

I look forward to hearing some more poems about how much you enjoy drugs. I feel it is a much unexplored topic on this site.

Contrary to popular belief, the heart is merely a muscle for pumping blood around the body, not some sort of organ of love or container for the soul.

Wow! I would never have guessed that someone would have experienced sex!

I was working in the lab late one night,
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight,
My monster from his slab began to rise,
And suddenly to my surprise,

He did the mash,
It was the monster mash,
He did the mash,
It was a graveyard smash,
It was the mash,
It caught on in a flash,
It was the mash,
It was the monster mash!

It is often believed that the fruit of temptation was the apple, but if you read the book of Genesis, however, you will see that it actually was the pear