Re: She Searches For Love by validus_vox	24-Apr-04/3:28 PM
Hey Mike - Give this a shot as a poem. I don't mean that in a sarcastic way. Allow yourself half the lines, and a third the words.
Re: Merry-Go-Round by Miggy	24-Apr-04/3:33 PM
Right off I don't like "passes by" - is there some other way to let me know you like being around this person? Some way to express that frustration when they bail so I can feel it instead of acknowledging it? Maybe it being a lyric gets you off the hook from being poetic? I hope not.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Apr-04/5:06 PM
yep, that last bit falls apart pretty well. sweaty palms twice AND you tell me your nervous. pick one of the three please.
Re: Exclamatory Abuse by Blindpoetry	24-Apr-04/6:52 PM
"to[o] cold" quick - fix and repost.
Re: evolution 9 by wilco	25-Apr-04/10:32 AM
looky, its a arrowhead. What is this creature, and how did its description merit a ten from daveslady? Are you, by any chance, Dave? I can give it a nine I guess, cuz well if its good enough for her...
Re: Exclamatory Abuse by Blindpoetry	25-Apr-04/10:43 AM
unusual texture, conveys well.
Re: Remembering Pretty Days by wilco	25-Apr-04/10:49 AM
- shouldn't - didn't (apostrophe generally goes with the missing letter) - nonetheless is usually one word. Well done, but I'd consider loosing that second stanza, or to at least get more out of it. Nine.
Re: To Be Happy by embersandenvelopes	25-Apr-04/10:51 AM
I liked polar-fickle-phases, and liked trying to figure out what it means.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Apr-04/10:55 AM
I don't agree to making this a pimple - but kill the last stanza I think. It does have a mantra-like sense to it and it flows fairly well. Prolly a little thinning would increase the impact a bit? I just don't happen to agree with some of it. I believe that true beauty actually is perfection - its just that most definitions for perfection are... imperfect.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Apr-04/7:28 PM
A Bjork tribute??
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-04/12:46 PM
as a strategy to winning one's love - destined to result in a lonely life of conversing with small birds. a nice clipping best kept for a larger poem?
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-04/12:48 PM
The language in this is ... problematic. Having said that, maybe there's a market for it someplace?
Re: Now I'm with you by Roisin	26-Apr-04/12:53 PM
A nice sentiment, and perhaps strongly felt - but too easy.
Re: The True Irony by thepinkbunnyofdoom	26-Apr-04/12:58 PM
I just couldn't get my arms around this one. Maybe some line breaks, maybe some compartmentalization - dunno.
Re: death by xunitedx	26-Apr-04/7:12 PM
a lyric?
Re: Bottom half of a phone by That One	26-Apr-04/7:14 PM
you are = you're
Re: Juno's Peacock by horus8	26-Apr-04/7:51 PM
Art Noir. Reminded of those private eye stories. strong.
Re: Lose That Too ! by recherche	27-Apr-04/7:06 AM
is "daffolds" right? Cadence is consistent, good job with that.
Re: A Proclamation to Our Lord by Joe-joe	27-Apr-04/7:08 AM
Not my cup of tea - but, clear enough. Is there a poetic way to express this?
Re: sweet surrender by francis nor capule	27-Apr-04/7:10 AM
you said "dreams are to be realized" then added it again.