on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
15 Sep 2002, 10:14 PM
she sounds cute can i take her out on a date? (spwan of god'swife)
on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 9:52 PM
this is god's wifes son (god's son) gods and gods wife's little devil chid
on Morning Conversation by lexicon
15 Sep 2002, 9:03 PM
Not bad not bad. More space-age living. I'd would have liked a metaphor or two, but that's just me. I wait for them the way a child waits or candy.
replying on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 8:28 PM
Doxycycline 500mg QID X 10 days. Condoms. VDRL, & UA for chlamydia. Syphillis & gonorrhea are epidemic in L.A. county. (I hope you're joking)
on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 7:58 PM
Not up to your high standards.
on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
15 Sep 2002, 1:21 PM
Shouldn't there be a comma after <same>? Also <that> seems unnecessary.
on bitterness to tenderness to endlessness by Crakyamuni
15 Sep 2002, 1:15 PM
No joy to read. Improves slighty as you go, but no go. Dogs in deep trances? What dinner show is that?
on No sally, lay your troubles to bed by Crakyamuni
15 Sep 2002, 1:10 PM
Oh worshipper of the sacred Budda, go back to the creamery. What this is is what it was and shall forever be, caca.
You're beginning analogy is anything but poetic. May I suggest a Brazilian wax to rid her of those pokey sharps and splinters. Stupid. By the way this "thing" you've posted makes it glaringly obvious you are a terrible lay. 1.... which is more than those poor 48 would rank you in bed.
on How? Well... by RWAndersen
15 Sep 2002, 12:42 PM
Choppy. Polish won't add to her shine? Dreadful analogy to lay on a person.
on Fuck the stars by Patrice727
15 Sep 2002, 12:37 PM
Satellite.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
13 Sep 2002, 4:59 PM
Could be a real gem if you polished it. The last stanza i think is the best and could stay as is. Can you describe the smell of her pillow?
on Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic) by Bachus
13 Sep 2002, 4:47 PM
Oh my dear sweet brother how i've missed you. Of all the God's you are my favorite. You don't pretend. I'm off for the weekend. Hope to see you soon.
replying on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
13 Sep 2002, 9:16 AM
I'm not surprised. Thank's for the suggestion. Expression of the event would be more poignant without trite sentiment.
on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
13 Sep 2002, 9:02 AM
This is awful with or without the explanation. Try expanding the actual so called poem. Also the first image has been so over-used it 's best to avoid it. We allready know what you're talking about since you were foolish enought to title this thing 9/11. Aren't you sick of it yet 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11. It doesn't even have a proper name.
on Our New Tongue by Christof
13 Sep 2002, 8:42 AM
Excellent. Hadn't read this before. "Oaths of faith and love" Please work on writing a new contract for all the girls and boys. I love stanza 4, awkward and sad without being awkward and sad. Is she married?
on America the Beautiful? by pink_punk_kisses87
12 Sep 2002, 9:49 PM
You know, if you're going to get way up there on your giant soap box you should at least make it pretty. This is not a poem It's a very bad nagging session. "Is this what makes us proud?" "Is this what our ancestors...." You sound like a crotchety old man. An impact can never be made by standing and wagging your finger.
on We visited the gay men on the veranda by Frass
12 Sep 2002, 9:34 PM
This is worth writing about. It needs some fixing up but I like it. I give you some suggestions but I'm having a tantrum right now so I'll get back to it in a few days.