Re: Are You O.K.? by sonawrote	zodiac 152.18.33.190	27-Jan-04/5:34 PM
This is a mess. Is your .-button stuck? Are you ok? Do you know what consumption is?
Re: Bloom Inside by hatedestruction	zodiac 152.18.33.190	27-Jan-04/5:28 PM
Good bleach-era Nirvana lyrics. I always thought that album was underrecognized.
Re: The woods house by zodiac	andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200	27-Jan-04/3:52 PM
wow, just wow i feel like a humble ass clown in comparison my one teeny tiny note would be that i enjoyed the breaks that spanned the stanzas and wished that all the stanzas did that going back and forth was only slightly jarring i think in general though, your breaks are great and really adds to the feel
Re: Aphrodite (edited) by Caducus	andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200	27-Jan-04/3:57 PM
need to work on your iambic pentameter a bit also, it doesn't really speak to me, but i think that's just because i don't care much for this particular mythology
Re: Darkness by Felzpoet	andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200	27-Jan-04/3:59 PM
not quite a sonnet - must be 14 lines also, needs iambic pentameter the repetition is forced and elementary however, you do make a nice turn at the end
regarding some deleted poem...	andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200	27-Jan-04/4:03 PM
you kept true to the form, good job i think "tor'trous" is a cop out though, you can come up with a better word that fits the meter restriction also, you heroic couplet doesn't feel like enough of a turn, but it works overall i would suggest adding punctuation and also enjambing more of your lines
Re: Cecelia by Nicholas Monson	andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200	27-Jan-04/4:06 PM
most excellent i think "missiles" does not fit but that's the only thing i can find fault with "An Audrey Hepburn with a Viking gene" is SUCH an inspired line, i love it
Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage	middenHeap 217.82.10.207	27-Jan-04/4:13 PM
Was the spelling of field really intentional? I agree with god'swife, the last line -- content of which is superb, no complaints there -- should be tidied up. If not by deleting the extra then, at least break it differently.
Re: The Astronaut in Trouble by Fear of Garbage	middenHeap 217.82.10.207	27-Jan-04/4:15 PM
"You are taking up my Oxygen, Nitrogen, Argon, you are taking up my arrogance." is great. The rest is (for you) mediocre.
Re: Camera Obscura by Fear of Garbage	zodiac 152.18.33.190	27-Jan-04/4:57 PM
I could tell you were a woman. Dickens could tell George Eliot was immediately, too, or so the anecdote goes. Are the leaves from O.Henry?
Re: Murderers in the Tropics by Fear of Garbage	middenHeap 217.82.10.207	27-Jan-04/4:58 PM
you delightful little gothic child you.
Re: My Life As a Single Teenage Girl by Princess_Snowflake	zodiac 152.18.33.190	27-Jan-04/4:59 PM
minus 8 for not being a haiku. Minus another 1 for not being very poetic or making any sense.
Re: Murderers in the Tropics by Fear of Garbage	zodiac 152.18.33.190	27-Jan-04/5:01 PM
Mon dieu! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "sleepy, safe and warm" could be different.
Re: My Life As a Single Teenage Girl by Princess_Snowflake	middenHeap 217.82.10.207	27-Jan-04/5:18 PM
Once again, you crack me up. If only you were doing it on purpose.
regarding some deleted poem...	penguin fiend 209.23.41.120	27-Jan-04/6:25 PM
I hate chicks like that
Re: 'The Grey' Triplet by Shin-Bojangles	some deleted user 208.25.247.107	27-Jan-04/6:27 PM
Very Very Interesting :)
regarding some deleted poem...	penguin fiend 209.23.41.120	27-Jan-04/6:27 PM
Man, your poetry is so awesome, i just wish i could steal it, but that would be...stealing and thats bad, so i'll just worship it from here
Re: Wanksta by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	some deleted user 208.25.247.107	27-Jan-04/6:30 PM
Cute....very cute
Re: "Good Bye" by Blindpoetry	penguin fiend 209.23.41.120	27-Jan-04/6:31 PM
Sorry, but I can't criticize this, i think it's really good
Re: How I want to be by Felzpoet	some deleted user 208.25.247.107	27-Jan-04/6:31 PM
i really like this one you sound very sincere