Re: Pilgrim by richa	Dovina 12.72.6.27	7-Mar-05/3:41 PM
Snake heaven may have tall golden canes, but virgins for the Pilgrim Puritans? And that last verse with its semicolon and new sentence midway, well, look at the grammar.
Re: trapoide by Angel_of_fait	crooked_smile 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/3:41 PM
this i don't feel was all that good - 5 - -lia
Re: Disfigure by DevilBuni	Dovina 12.72.6.27	7-Mar-05/3:44 PM
It's far fetched, but with enough truth to consider developing.
Re: The Ode of Human Life by ShaNoN+960317485	crooked_smile 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/3:44 PM
interesting - 7 - -lia
Re: The Pen by whispern_smoke_wisp	DevilBuni 149.152.192.18	7-Mar-05/3:45 PM
reminds me of a poem I wrote :) Very nice
Re: Death is a Three Step Process by dancin_n_da_moonlite	richa 81.178.193.41	7-Mar-05/3:52 PM
sad noess depres sion suic ide. Got ya. Probably a bit ambitious to do an acrostic in this manner and have it make sense.
Re: Doesn't Take Much by Plaidypus	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/3:53 PM
absolutely excellent - 10 - -megan
Re: an early discovery (reworking) by richa	i_am_the_popsicle 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/3:59 PM
i like it - 9 - -emlyn
Re: Care by aurora	i_am_the_popsicle 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/4:00 PM
seems more like a pimple poem ...... -emlyn
Re: Letter Harmony by webguy	i_am_the_popsicle 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/4:10 PM
i love this - 10 - -emlyn
Re: The Muses by crooked_smile	DevilBuni 149.152.192.18	7-Mar-05/4:13 PM
That has to be the longest poem about not being able to write a poem I've ever read.
Re: nothing could by nentwined	that_funny_girl 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/4:13 PM
intersting...... -nessa
Re: Severed by shadowaura	that_funny_girl 152.163.100.135	7-Mar-05/4:17 PM
i give this a 10 because it is good, but i must ask why you included your age - it doesnt really make any difference at all how old you are - and it just seems to give the impressions that want almost a pity vote, for being younger than the rest of us -nessa
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:17 PM
content is simplistic, form is painful; rhymes read forced, rhythm jounces about without much care for sensibilities--as I read it, at laest.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:21 PM
"it's" -> its (twice) The last stanza is interesting. I'd run with that more and the abstract less. Maybe making it more immediate-- "In my mind today was a tractor trailor on its side crossing two lanes and a concrete barrier to catch me at seventy miles per hour; and no way to move." 7 for the final stanza, though the rest really should bring it down more.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:25 PM
"Bain" ? "That would be the best I could for" ? "My logic and fervor are equal are equal" ? Overall, I'd normally hate this. But it does make a good, dense square. It's sort of an "everyman's" poem--possibly pimple, but it doesn't rhyme or force structure. So... Hmm. 7.
Re: Heart Attack by ShaNoN+960317485	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:28 PM
I liked some of the breathless feel to it, but came out more like a minor (yeah, there's no such thing--stil...) asthma attack than anything thoughtforcing. While somewhat atypical in exactly how it feels forced, it doesn't work for me.
Re: on the edge of creation by nentwined	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:31 PM
Hmm. Going back in--this could use some rhythm work. The deerflies are out of place. Though I still like most of it. That's certainly a bonus.
Re: Heaven Out Here by wilco	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:36 PM
"rivers'" -> "river's" Since you didn't capitalize the beginning of each line, it's a bit odd that you chose to after a semi-colon. A moderate collection of images, with a point, but they don't gel for me. It's too haphazardly stacatto.
Re: Forward My Mail by Shardik	nentwined 64.60.192.130	7-Mar-05/4:38 PM
I really like the first two stanzas. s3 doesn't do it for me at all, and s4... hmm. s4 is decent. s3 really doesn't do it for me, though.