| Re: The Soul by Bobjim |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Dec-04/9:28 AM |
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Do not the "perverted thoughts, hurtful passions" originate in the "centre of the mind," the very place "incarcerated" that you want to protect from those things? That doesn't make sense.
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| Re: Dreams of Neverland: A Second Encounter by TLRufener |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Dec-04/9:37 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Dec-04/12:17 PM |
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A new game in which you still play for keeps. How is that new?
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| Re: Digging by Dovina |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
7-Dec-04/3:55 PM |
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I dug out a wily nostril-plug just this morn.
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| Re: All About Mistakes by travelingsk8er |
celticskatermatt1 68.7.187.148 |
6-Dec-04/3:23 PM |
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what r u talking about?
no one is on skates....only a skateboard
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| Re: A Christmas Thought by keatsImnot |
wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.249 |
7-Dec-04/7:37 AM |
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I think horus8 might be dead
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| Re: Recognition by nentwined |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.143 |
7-Dec-04/8:00 AM |
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Makes me want to stand up in a room full of poets and say, "Hi. My name is Dan. I'm a poem-holic."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/9:05 AM |
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At least age gives something in return for all that it takes. Not much, albeit. But something.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/9:08 AM |
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I'm not quite Conch-ious of the poem. Though I do like it.
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| Re: Kaleidoscopic (Re-Edit) by Sasha |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/9:12 AM |
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| Re: Recognition by nentwined |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/10:09 AM |
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No amount of nonsensical smut -filled commenting could ever bring this poem down.
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| Re: Recognition by nentwined |
niyama 128.97.253.2 |
7-Dec-04/10:26 AM |
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As always, razor sharp and clean. Amazing what stress does for the inspiration eh?
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| Re: People by hendrimike |
patty t 69.158.113.158 |
6-Dec-04/8:27 PM |
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lacks chemistry, rhetoric
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| Re: People by hendrimike |
hendrimike 205.188.116.67 |
6-Dec-04/9:16 PM |
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i wrote this when i was 12...lol
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| Re: A Christmas Thought by keatsImnot |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50 |
7-Dec-04/3:58 AM |
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Wow. That's the most original Christmas thought ever. It's so important that we stop to think, at least once, about the true meaning of Christmas. Because in today's fast paced world of microwave dinners and plastic toys (as opposed to the more traditional woods), baby Jesus has been lost, only to be replaced by a giant Sony Dreamcast Cube (or whatever it is the little brats like to play with these days).
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| Re: The Soul by Bobjim |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50 |
7-Dec-04/4:03 AM |
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If someone threatened to blow up a school unless you thought perverted things and wrote them down, would those perverted thoughts corrupt your inner cavern?
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| Re: A Christmas Thought by keatsImnot |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
7-Dec-04/11:32 AM |
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"Oh lets rejoice that happy" ???
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
7-Dec-04/1:42 PM |
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Your name affects your character, like a "Boy named Sue." And "clumsywords" is not helping yours.
"Instantly you are regretful" could be "instantly you regret" with no loss of rhythm. And how do you express an unknown love? Several lines need a closer look for clumsy words.
The rest of your poem is a rather good statement of a common female dilemma, clearly painted, and needing polish.
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| Re: Digging by Dovina |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/4:07 PM |
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I think -diggables- demeans the rest of the poem. Just for fun, You might use the mild rhyme and the beat from "of brimstone hot and water cold" ,patterning it that way.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67 |
7-Dec-04/4:12 PM |
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drench drizzle rain. all three?
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