| Re: My Soul is Stopping by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:28 PM |
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| Re: TRUTH by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:29 PM |
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| Re: metaphorically speaking by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:30 PM |
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| Re: Swimming in Space & Fishing for the Luridness Monster by SupremeDreamer |
wilco 4.226.156.215 |
27-Aug-04/8:18 PM |
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A bit wordy for my taste, but still not too shabby.
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| Re: corrupting you by skaskowski |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:56 PM |
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| Re: solitude by darylchew |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:58 PM |
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amazingly cliche. a nearly perfect pimple.
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| Re: we can't walk forever by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:31 PM |
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you can. you can walk forever.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
arduinn 165.21.83.240 |
27-Aug-04/6:19 PM |
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you rendered me speechless...
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| Re: Penumbra by klosterfobik |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:56 PM |
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another one for the love/above list!
I like 'clandestine comet'.
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| Re: it's all quite obviously one big joke by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:27 PM |
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I really like the flow of this. Bits meander too much for me, but I like it.
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| Re: My chair by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:26 PM |
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I like it, though I do not get the _need_, which seems important to the piece as a whole.
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| Re: A friendly conversation with a Native American by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:32 PM |
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I like it except for the one syllable of "Yeah" towards the end. Well, maybe the last three lines are a bit off for me. I think it works better without, though the tie-back to buffalo is nice.
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| Re: We are what we hold by somemorepoetry |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/3:36 PM |
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agree. not bad, not good. though perhaps you've spoiled me now on other poems of yours.
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| Re: A Piñon Planter by Dovina |
wilco 4.226.156.215 |
27-Aug-04/8:16 PM |
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As I said: Not your best, but still one of the top 5 I've read today (Excluding the Dylan Thomas).
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| Re: Eagledale Drive by klosterfobik |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:54 PM |
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very evocative, though I find I want to know more how you were lost. Is it just the time?
I like the line "Can you believe the gray wind of used to be and winter?"
"simple perfect" -> "simple perfection"? Or are you making a grammatical pun of some sort that I'm failing to get?
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| Re: Beached (Or how I learned to give up the day) by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:47 PM |
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very cute. tightly done. silly, but tightly done and in that silliness is a nice contrast.
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| Re: A Piñon Planter by Dovina |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:51 PM |
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cute. odd. definitely a difficult subject matter to try to make someone take seriously. Delving into the bowels so explicity does not do it for me, I think. Bits here and there don't cohere for me.
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| Re: Rapid Eye Movement by wilco |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
27-Aug-04/2:49 PM |
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I think the title is too ... blatant ... for the rest of the poem. The poem is very nice. Agree with the semi-awkwardness of "nothing makes the night seem lonely like". Maybe just "nothing makes the night more lonely than"? Thoughts.
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| Re: St. Patrickâs Cathedral by Dovina |
wilco 4.226.156.215 |
27-Aug-04/8:06 PM |
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Ok, I'm reading his as someone questioning their faith. That may not be what you're trying to convey, but that's how I read it. It is funny how the Christian fith is so gloomy and dark in nature. I don't understand why it has to have all these depressing icons to build up a point about eternal happiness.
Anyway, I think this is a good construcion of te idea: "Searching for the strength to die, without somewhere to go." It's a scary thought that when you die it's all over. That's why religion is important: It gives us a reason to live AND a reason to die.
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| Re: Beached (Or how I learned to give up the day) by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
wilco 4.226.156.215 |
27-Aug-04/8:14 PM |
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