could be good. I won't vote now, because this obviously needs to be edited.

i think this COULD be good, but the punctuation is horribly distracting, as is the poor grammar.

Hi. You have no idea how a semicolon works, do you?

rubbish.

A reflex-action spew into a onlooking strangers mnouth.

A satchel full of sun dried turds.

A truly mindnumbing guff of a car accident.

Quaerion the Dark-aelfe stealthily strode through the shadows into the dimly-lit tavern, ignoring the inebriated "tally-ho!"s of the ignorant knaves around him, quietly slipping through the crowd to a table in the corner. He was clad in a dark, hooded cloak of purest Gwynthymoryan mithril-silk, and the Whisper-Bootes of Rhydrissa the Pale, and although his pale, fine features did not reflect any emotion, save perhaps for a flash in his deep green eyes that reflected a certain amount of contempt for the surroundings in which he had been fated to find himself this evening, his ringed right hand was somewhat tensely curled around the hilt of his Spirit-clay'dh-dhmore, FyreDestyny. Suddenly, a rough, oafish hand grabbed his shoulder, and a voice bellowed "Quaerion!" Quaerion whirled around, green eyes flashing, to face his oppressor -- an unutterably fat, blond-bearded man in a loincloth and a plumed helmet. "Who dares speak the name of Quaerion?!" spoke Quaerion in a quiet, commanding voice that caused all who in the tavern who were still conscious to fall silent and gaze in his direction, wondering who the powerful yet quiet hooded stranger named Quaerion could be. TO BE CONTINUED... -10-

not bad.not bad at all.

Yup, crotch-grabbingly bad.

dr. seuss meets 2livecrew. Hmm. your should be "you're" in the last line.

yo poem needs help, too simplistic

ayup. :)

very cute.