dragonfly
replying on 7 Days of Suicide by dragonfly
9 Nov 2003, 9:47 PM
lol...my tv dinners are always microwaveable
Does mountain dew really lower sperm count? Or was that just an urban legend?
Oh poet! You are my eyes' mind what cannot see but to think.
I like your collection of snapshots. I didn't know they got hurricanes up in Maine, though. <~
I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just wanted to make certain I wasn't leaving an improper comment for a youngster, the poem is not in question, I liked it.
I dont make lightbulb pipes late at night. I have a headshop oilbase pipe, so I dont need to, specially since it has lasted me 4-5 or so months. Best 10 dollars I ever spent.
Honestly? that you that you seem to not understand that it isn't "people" i dont want to know think of my personal writes- ITS YOU.
If someone else wanted to say something bad- then fine, but not you. You have irritated me to a point, that i really don't want to hear it anymore... yes, your that annoying, and you comment on pieces like this just to annoy me- meaning YOUR input is worthless.
thats what i think, shithead- and thats the TRUTH- not what you think it is, the real truth.
REPEAT: this is about YOU- not anyother ranker here-so get that in your miniscule brain.
No I am not a 14 year old. Yes I do expect votes. But I realy don't care about what are people think about what I write. I just like to share my feelings about things with other people, and if they don't like what I have to say, it don't hurt me much then.
Can I sing to you? Sing to you?
It does sound kinda pimple. Try to expand your mind when writing about love, it's too easy to sound cliche(At least that's what they say)
Spellcheck your stuff once in awhile, that way you at least seem to know what you're doing. What is this about? Your Grandma, a miscarraige,?
I had to look to make sure you weren't one of our new 14 year olds, now I can say Oh no I can't.
O.K. Though. You know, I never see any comments from you. Do you expect vote's and such w/o reciprocation?
Very nice. Try an allusion to the giant line early in the piece. Also, check tenses--I think they're okay, but I still found myself going hmmm.
Congratulations, you've managed to use "love" three times and "heart" four times in three verses. Without a doubt this is the most beautiful and meaningful poem ever written. Oh yeah, and you used "heart/apart".
Do you ever wake up and suddenly think, "Oh no, I'm mindblowingly stupid"?
Last line sounds a bit porn filmish.
Less cliche, yes, and more consistent, but I kind of liked the mystery of the inconsistency between verses.
KUDOS!!! :)