horus8
on Iterated Fuck by nentwined
19 Feb 2003, 11:30 AM
Best thing you've written in 6 months, and people wonder why i tear the shit out of pseudo poetry? obviously because it's the opposite of this... GQT AWARDE! 10
My real name is Sherlock Tughampton, I'm twelve years old, and I want to be an astronaut. I'm a very special young man because I am in a Wheeled-chair. I don't think there's anything wrong with that - disableds can do anything they want provided they keep an open mind and embrace new challenges with blind enthusiasm and a spare pair of trousers should any unpleasantness occur. And there are ramps everywhere, these days. Sometimes I just don't know what this world is coming to. Disabled access is taking over like a bubonic plague of incoherent gibberish and uncontrollable streams of dribble. I blame T.V.
It's only the children in commercials who don't reek...
it's the seedy las vegas of the east, located in south jersey. nope, not a good place to get stuck.
The last one is excellent, but the other two don't seem as great, m'dear. Possibly because they don't really let people figure out what they're about as well as the others do.
Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart. Th'art a very sick child. One of the better crops, indeed.
Are you sure it was tea? O.O
But the stench, hon.
:heh: I was at a cafe and had no release simply available. I was far past the point of foreplay (things had been burning in the back of my mind all day). though mayhaps in an iteration of the poem some can be added.
The villanelle, what a lovely form, and so wittily used. Is Atlantic city a good place to end up ensnowed? I have no idea.
I couldn't have written this love poem for a cabbage, well done I bet you were knackered after. Its not something i can offer contructive criticism on (as you begged for in the suggestions page) as its non serious. However you found originality with this so.....8
By the way you have had more comments from people from what you have commented on
scitz this could be quite good but you've got far too many words tumbling around in this sack. this needs a bit of meter to bounce the reader on through. smooth it out a bit, and it will be lovely.
(for help with meter, see:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/line&am
yay! thank you lots. this is why I wrote these, to make others full of glee. And to fill time in my 'Historical Reactions to Deviance' class.
oh shit!!!!
razor, razor, razor! you have outdone yourself.
thanks for making my morning!
Very good
Thank you. i liked the last one best as well.
hey horus, there is more than one friggin kind of sonnet out there, they aren't all Shakespearian, though I did like yours. Mine wasn an attempt at creating my own style, you can say it sucks but don't say it failed
I used to have some pigs and they died in the foot and mouth epidemic and had to be slaughtered. I left for Gloucester that day because one couldn't bear the sight of Rosie, Sharky, Monsieur, and Goatthroat being terminated. Pigs are beautiful creatures and contrary to the book of koran ARE clean specimens. I have heard the sound of a pig mating and it reminded me of a young winsome strumpet I made love to in a violet field south of cirencester.
My name is Horatio Piggott, Mr Pig to my poemrankers.
God Speed my friend !
Oh how awful the ubiquitous irony of mistaken identity. I would like to state to all at poemranker that Sir Shardik is NOT Mr Pig, as for the phone calls I suggest you contact the police.
Please offer me your opinion on the poem my good fellow and oblige me with your views.
Thank you, and good luck in this dill pickle of a sour note.
I say Sir, one may say this is an intersting read but the profane manner in which our most personal anatomical parts are described is awful, please stop watching hotel porn, My offer is a 5 marks lost on degrading penis