on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy
9 Feb 2006, 12:27 PM
Awesome. I like "violets to violence"-that is beautiful. All the lines fit very well together...I don't see where you could make any improvments. The only thing I don't like about this one is how it makes me feel incompitent as a writer. thanks a lot. ;]
on Hailing Miriam by Ranger
9 Feb 2006, 12:21 PM
Wow, this is really good. I like the 7th line, a very good analogy. There's so much to like, very well written. The part of this poem that is really amazing is how the rythem reflected how I would imagine her dancing: light and skippy, but so very graceful and smooth.
replying on Lonely Road by drnick
9 Feb 2006, 9:02 AM
As far as this poem is concerned it is definately metaphorical:
-The road is a lonely person
-The thick woods is the personality they hide behind
I dunno, maybe you can figure it out from there...I guess the meaning seems obvious to me because I wrote it.
-The road is a lonely person
-The thick woods is the personality they hide behind
I dunno, maybe you can figure it out from there...I guess the meaning seems obvious to me because I wrote it.
replying on Lonely Road by drnick
9 Feb 2006, 9:02 AM
I see, that is a fair request. I suppose I don't make that many comments because I don't really feel as though I know enough to help...but I will try.
on Lonely Road by drnick
8 Feb 2006, 9:01 PM
boy, i sure do wish someone would bestow their intelligent advice upon me as to how i could improve this poem...
on Anonymous Love by Angelicasassy
7 Feb 2006, 12:14 AM
Story of my fucking life.
on as you are by Adriaan
6 Feb 2006, 11:45 PM
That's very nice, I like it!
replying on Tonight (edit) by drnick
6 Feb 2006, 11:24 PM
I wish.
replying on Tonight (edit) by drnick
6 Feb 2006, 11:22 PM
That's exactly what I meant, ie playing hard to get. I try to stay away from directly saying things so the poem's meaning can be different for anyone. I usually fail at that. thanks for the input
replying on Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo
31 Jan 2006, 2:24 PM
Yes, you are correct, I forgot about grav. lensing...Einstein is rolling over in his grave.
on Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo
28 Jan 2006, 7:18 PM
I don't mean to get technical, but I'm not sure that light "curves." It can bend, but I'm afraid it is rectilinearly propagated and thus cannot curve. Other than that, I like this one!
on Tonight (edit) by drnick
28 Jan 2006, 7:12 PM
I was really high when I wrote this, which can be good and bad. I will keep in mind what you've said when I rework this. Thank you very much for the advice!
replying on Singularity by drnick
26 Jan 2006, 1:24 PM
Shouldn't you have given me a lower score then?
on When God is Needed No More by ALChemy
23 Jan 2006, 6:28 PM
Pretty good...I agree with the not needing god part, mostly because "he" does absolutely nothing. It would be better if you didn't believe, and made this something about how we wont need religion when we can all live peacefully without it. Perhaps I will do something like that. Anywho, not bad...
replying on Cold-Blooded Pillow by drnick
21 Jan 2006, 12:20 PM
ya, you guys are taking it way too literally...but I'm sure that's my fault for writing it poorly.
replying on Cold-Blooded Pillow by drnick
20 Jan 2006, 11:23 AM
Yes, I do...probably should use spell-check or something, huh?
No, I don't think you quite understand where I'm coming from with this poem. I'm saying that sometimes it's hard to commit an ill-conceived act against someone whom you love; a mere look or touch is enough to forget why you were angry and fall back into the adoring state you were in before. I never try to sound like some kind of bad-ass or supreme evil doer but perhaps that is "inevitable."
No, I don't think you quite understand where I'm coming from with this poem. I'm saying that sometimes it's hard to commit an ill-conceived act against someone whom you love; a mere look or touch is enough to forget why you were angry and fall back into the adoring state you were in before. I never try to sound like some kind of bad-ass or supreme evil doer but perhaps that is "inevitable."
on Cold-Blooded Pillow by drnick
19 Jan 2006, 9:22 PM
This was called "Sleeping with the Enemy," however due to recent complaints I found that this was also the title to some piece of shit movie and thus could not use it. After hours upon hours of Trial and Error(also the title to a movie) I came up with this, I hope you like it.
replying on The Deep End by drnick
19 Jan 2006, 3:04 PM
It's nearly impossible to come up with an original title with the amount of pieces out now...it's only a title anyways. Right you are, I'm terrible with grammar.