on some deleted poem
7 Dec 2005, 6:53 AM
Very nice flow with clear images that leave a warm image of times that feel like they are about to be gone.
on Look Who's Talking by OneFingerAnswer
8 Dec 2005, 2:02 AM
You've chosen in my mind the worst poetic form barring haiku's to present this, the form is so highly repetitive that I cant rate this poem for the skill that it takes to write such a beast, and can only condemn it for the chosen form (which has distracted me from the work even more in this case than is usual). When will people learn that nothing good can come of this evil.
on Irish Holliday by Dovina
8 Dec 2005, 2:28 AM
Its the kind of thing that I might think was really deep and amusing after 8-9 pints of Guiness
on Better Off Dead by wilco
8 Dec 2005, 5:25 AM
Could be much better. Lackluster. Not really but its the kind of comment you leave on even the pieces of work of others that outshine this. Getting back to reality, this is an aimiable piece with good flow, the modern language could have made it seem unorigional and cliched were it not for the rich abstract imagery.
on laugh again by skaskowski
6 Dec 2005, 2:47 AM
Too much to think about for me to want to dive in and try to understand it (especially in the morning).
on almost missed work by calliope
6 Dec 2005, 2:50 AM
Cute, nothing more, nothing less... for that reason I dont particularly like this, but have had an enjoyable read, that I will forget quite quickly I am sad to say.
on Duff firs, Nawal by zodiac
5 Dec 2005, 1:37 AM
What it spears with potency it lacks in elegance.
on Light within darkness by Caducus
5 Dec 2005, 1:50 AM
nicely meloncholly sentiment, but sadly void of other aspects of poetry (rich language, structure, rhythm, rhyme, assonance...)
on Through the channel by amanda_dcosta
5 Dec 2005, 1:53 AM
Excellent Flow (not quite water tight) and the image of the pull from left to right was intensely and clearly put. I dont think I needed to hear the last two verses though, and I think it could end on "calling me back to do repair".
on Shoebox Thoughts by BrandonW
5 Dec 2005, 1:57 AM
Unusual for a haiku to put such a quaintly demented picture across, pleasurable to experience. I have to agree with zodiacs comment though, haiku's irritate me, they seem like poems that could be so much more.
on mask; an infidelity by FreeFormFixation
6 Dec 2005, 2:44 AM
Pleasantly Confusing
on Count All the Stars by TLRufener
7 Dec 2005, 6:47 AM
I have to agree with zodiac here. You've exhibited line after line of phrases that are used commonly to beg for sympathy or to dwell in pity, and so I think that justifies zodiacs complaint.
on some deleted poem
8 Dec 2005, 6:56 AM
would have voted it 7, but the starkly romantic line "We met in Coventry" pushes it to an 8.
on Emma Barksdale by rahson_s
8 Dec 2005, 12:28 PM
Ouch.
on Emma Barksdale by rahson_s
8 Dec 2005, 12:35 PM
By the way, the site sends more chills through me the more I read. Heart provoking.
on The Third Fall Of Jesus by amanda_dcosta
8 Dec 2005, 5:33 AM
You have definately achieved something here, since the piece has mustered enough interest for me to read the whole of it, and there is a lot of it. The piece loses realism in places where it appears you are yearning to be christian and pandering to christianity with aspirational images based on christ. I am not saying that you are not a christian, but I am saying that it appears that you are trying to be a christian (perhaps unnecessarily)
Poor, Im sure Ive read work by you that is much better than this. Im sure this represents something very emotional in your life, but the simplicity and lack of elegance makes me just not want to care. It adhears rigidly to some form or another to the cost of the piece.