on Perils of the Learning Curve by Dovina
21 Mar 2006, 4:56 AM
good to see a poem with an off kilter rhyme. I do it sometimes and it gets some peoples backs up but i like the modern age hippocrates goes philosophical thing.
on Indianapolis Since by matt door
24 Mar 2006, 1:22 AM
wide eyed field is a good line giving possibilities of the sun being the eye or blooms.
The sentiment is nice but you should learn to curb sarcasm and disrespectful digs because it gives you a superioeity complex that will not win you respect on here.
The sentiment is nice but you should learn to curb sarcasm and disrespectful digs because it gives you a superioeity complex that will not win you respect on here.
on some deleted poem
6 Feb 2006, 6:58 AM
I think you could do one musically to Summer Holiday or Daddy's home and think the mix of Cliff Richard and extremists is top notch.
As you do that I will put peace on earth on ebay with a starting price of 5 pence.
Crazy stuff for a crazy world.
As you do that I will put peace on earth on ebay with a starting price of 5 pence.
Crazy stuff for a crazy world.
on The Book of Images by Dovina
1 Feb 2006, 1:48 AM
The meter might not work for some but it suits the tone of the poem. Also for me the truth in the first 4 lines of stanza 2 was spot on.
Favourited ! well done.
Favourited ! well done.
on some deleted poem
1 Feb 2006, 5:11 AM
Anyone who has seen Brando in 'last tango in paris' will appreciate this line:
The moon has grown fat..
It certainly was.
On a serious note this haiku has been dissected to death, do i like it? does it inspire and conjure?
Yes.
The moon has grown fat..
It certainly was.
On a serious note this haiku has been dissected to death, do i like it? does it inspire and conjure?
Yes.
on some deleted poem
2 Feb 2006, 5:09 AM
liked voluptuous land of fields and the end line is so true it made me think you're an expert people watcher.
I like the shift too in S3 into fantasy (satyrs etc) by doing this you make these larger people erotic and add an almost klimpt image to accompany your words.
'Boyish physiques' will one day be the one line where this poem wont have to be dated - urghh stick insects.
I like the shift too in S3 into fantasy (satyrs etc) by doing this you make these larger people erotic and add an almost klimpt image to accompany your words.
'Boyish physiques' will one day be the one line where this poem wont have to be dated - urghh stick insects.
like citadels of steel and gore and much of the imagery you use in here is well thought out and written. The longer lines disrupt the flow compared to the concise images preceding and folowing them so work on that and you have yourself a belter here.
One of the best from you me thinks :-)
One of the best from you me thinks :-)
on Muff by Stephen Robins
21 Mar 2006, 2:53 AM
Fucking disgusting but i'm guilty of laughing.
on Dashboard Jesus by wilco
21 Mar 2006, 5:00 AM
bloody good poem - i love it.
the title is wicked too.
favourited !
the title is wicked too.
favourited !
on Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus
7 Feb 2006, 8:24 AM
Changed line 3 to davy lamp as it makes a wheezing sound when lit and is used for mining.
I think its better than heroes sword.
I think its better than heroes sword.
on some deleted poem
7 Feb 2006, 8:25 AM
Fuck a duck this so favourited.
on In response to by INTRANSIT
2 Mar 2006, 7:11 AM
You do have a way with words making them like a portal to the scenes you paint so well - in particular i love this line
fingering
trees flicking my antennae.
Always something you do which adds beef to my own creative juices :-)
fingering
trees flicking my antennae.
Always something you do which adds beef to my own creative juices :-)
on Beauty, sleeping by Ranger
2 Mar 2006, 7:06 AM
I think your trying to deal with too many myths and stories in one poem and it needs line breaks, grammar, (i am one to talk on grammar) but their is something their most definitely.
on Blackbird & the Everlasting Dream by Ranger
2 Mar 2006, 7:07 AM
This one has a title to die for and the poems pretty good with a rhyme scheme that dont seem forced.
Corvids are my favourite group of birds - mistaken.
Corvids are my favourite group of birds - mistaken.
on Blackbird & the Everlasting Dream by Ranger
2 Mar 2006, 7:08 AM
I too thought sonnet could be in the bag here too
on Farm animals by INTRANSIT
2 Mar 2006, 7:12 AM
killer cool and the last line is top banana
on A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar
6 Mar 2006, 4:02 AM
Intersting concept and not badly penned.
I think the repetition of *the* hurts the poem though