yes. nicely woven. "mite" should be "might" in S1, otherwise, very pleasing.

thank you for the haiku.

star of wonder, star of night, star with royal beauty bright, westward leading, still proceeding....

i'm sorry i read this poem.

i wish i had written this.

i wouldn't dream of it.

sure.

is that a tissue veil? because i have found that crenoline does a bang-up job 'down there'.

stop staring.

roughdraft? with a butt load of potential.

howl!

bravo.

bsjones84, thank you for commentng on my poem. i am sorry you found it vulgar, and, to be quite honest, i wondered about the poem's vulgarity after you made that remark. then i went back and read it. then i read your poems. and i realized that you have very little grasp of the use of metaphor as a poetic device, and therefore, you would naturally find my writing vulgar. i invite you to reread the poem, with the understanding that there is no sex happening in that particular poem. instead, i am using the excitement one feels at the promise of imminent copulation as a device to describe the excitement that words give to me, and to him. thank you for your time, pilgrim.

p.s. i have plenty of poems where sex actually does happen, and they are far from vulgar in their descriptiveness, if that's what you're looking for. words ezxcite me. what can i say?

yeah. they called us 'in league with satan'! let's kick their asses! this is even worse than them saying shit about my mother!


(oh, and fix the ???'s)

nice.

this is the weakest line:
Sipping honey tea a golden hue

i wondered about the cat hiding in the branches, and found this strangely parallel universe, where yggdrasil is not a tree, but an institute that researches uranium:
http://www.earthisland.org/yggdrasil/uep.html

now my question: is the salivation due to radiation damage in the soft tissues of the mouth, or is the cat ringing a bell in the treetops as the isotope decays?

scitz this could be quite good but you've got far too many words tumbling around in this sack. this needs a bit of meter to bounce the reader on through. smooth it out a bit, and it will be lovely.

(for help with meter, see:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/line&meter.html
and
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_soundmeter.html

oh shit!!!!
razor, razor, razor! you have outdone yourself.

thanks for making my morning!

shit. i'll say. wow. that's a departure for you. a relase. or two. or 3. yessir. yes indeedy. needy.

i just wished you had eased me into it more with some foreplay, instead of thrusting deftly from the outset.

things i like:
cut glass accents
wilder than a foxglove
vivisected sky
disappointemnt like a late picasso

thing i don't:
"always" 2 lines in a row

please explain because i don't understand this line:
Blurred in salt tears that burned the foxes blood,

nice and tight, now. goodjob.

part of me wants to tell you to write about your observations instead of you imaginings, but then there's another part of me that thinks you maybe should get it all out in a journal first, and then maybe go read some literature, and then some literary criticism (www.poets.org is a good source) and then, after aeons of study, and a cathartic dawn of comprehension, then, and only then, should you re-endeavor to write an poeme. and another part of me thinks i should go bowling. who will win? i dunno.